Treehouse // Lifehouse

Im much more of a hermit nowadays. I wonder why.

I was doing my laundry telline erika and champ that i cant go to kublai's coz of something that really ruined my morning. but instead of moping and stressing about it, i did my laundry instead. then champ made me realize something so i asked ryan, rae and LS to go with me hence... going out, and enjoyed a succesful treehouse night. Its actually the most populated treehouse night as of now. its just so weird that im actually hosting a "smoke-free" night. but the fact that i seriously wanted to quit smoking justifies. but not that i do anything about it. LOL i was mostly with erika and janna (her pretty, smart cousin full of randomness) and we were just laughing about some random stuff like erika's pseudo-stolen phone. hahahaha

then the next day, i watched the lifehouse concert at araneta with ivan, carmela, rochelle and joan.  rochelle bought me the tickets and i havent paid her yet. lol i was frustrated coz i definitely memorized some songs then they only played three of what i tried to memorize. im such a moron. do u actually review songs before going to a concert? cause i do. hahaha. joan and rochelle are ivan's highschool friends. went to starbucks san lazaro (spontaneity!). watching them laugh and talk about some serious stuff makes me so envious that i didnt go to their school. ito ang good vibes.

then it started raining hard until sunday.

Pushing Daisies fckin ROCKS! credits to wawa for loving it and making me utterly curious. hee hee

Poof.

"Disappearances happen in science. Disease can suddenly fade away, tumors go missing, and we open someone up to discover the cancer is gone. It's unexplained. It’s rare, but it happens. We call it mis-diagnosis. Say we never saw it in the first place, any explanation but the truth. That life is full of vanishing acts. If something that we didn’t know we had disappears... do we miss it?"

- Meredith Grey

When you actually go through something, like its your pre-midlife crisis, you tend to ask for this certain privacy which nobody could understand and this haze in front of you starts to fade out little by little.

And i just realized im stuck inside a whirlpool. A whirlpool so fast, i literally tranced without feeling nauseated. i thought it was fun. do you get the feeling when you see that swirling thing and youre so curious you tend to touch it and try to break the swirl? thats what i felt the first time.

until that whirlpool became sooo big i didnt know i was inside it. turning, deluded, and then i got tired, confused, dazed and... lost.

thats where i tried swimming against it. just to prove to myself that i am such a strong person and i will get through it. but i didnt. i was stuck. so i stopped struggling. waiting to feel rock bottom and disappointingly i was just stuck. i think its just waiting for me to crack my head open.

then there are these lending hands trying to save you. waiting for you to reach and grab them by the wrist. whats sad is they dont even notice that they are being pulled inside the whirl. congratulations. i am now spinning round and round with GUILT.

as much as i wanted to be thankful that they are now spinning with me, i think it defeats the purpose of salvation.

now i feel surrender. now i feel that i have to just let the whirlpool tire itself and decide whether to spit me out or drag me underneath its eye.

and now is the perfect time to throw up even without the dizziness. even without the churning. i just wanted to feel a little bit of relief after one horrible spin. because God knows its so tiring.

and the little twirl that my finger tried to play upon, that itty bitty twirl... became the biggest stirring of my self. and during these times, the choosing is for the unpriveleged, for it will judge who i really am.

and sometimes, you dont really wanna know the outcome.

- Xavier Pepito

August 19, 2007

Well what do you know... history just repeats itself. It's exactly the same thing as last year. Wow. I really need to use that quote above.

--- ♪ ♫ ♪ ---

Isang pambawing good vibes lang.

Charlie and Furball ♥♥♥

The EHEADS Reunion.

There has never been a better time to be an Eraserheads fan than right now - for the first time since 2001.

"Eraserheads Reunion" rumors have been flying all week around the wild and wooly pinoy blogosphere. A number of these had been reported on the decade-old Eraserheads mailing list , sparking speculations a-plenty.

And all these have definitely been enough to get me out of the music journo doldrums and get on the case. Were the clues and leaks and blind items intentionally scattered out there as a devious form of viral marketing? Perhaps.

If it was really a viral campaign, it has proved to be quite effective, and my hat goes off to the digital marketing strategist who conceived it.

The Rumors:

a) All four Eraserheads (for the uninitiated these are four guys named Ely, Raimund, Buddy, and Marcus) have signed up to perform for a one-night only reunion concert.

b) The concert will be held on August 30, 2008 at the CCP grounds along Roxas Boulevard.

c) The concert is sponsored by "a big company," who ponied up the big bucks to entice the eHeads to bury the hatchet and get together.

d) The concert will be free. People will sign up on a website to win tickets.

Whatever the rumors, it all came to a head on Sunday, July 13, when the info was leaked (or deliberately programmed) on entertainment writer Ricky Lo's column at the Philippine Star , who essentially confirmed all of the above as true.

 In a radio guesting on JAM 88.3 FM on Sunday, Ely Buendia confirmed the news as well.

The next piece in the puzzle - the mysterious benefactor.

"‘It took one big company to bring the former band members together,’ said the source who is keeping the company’s identity ‘confidential’ for the time being," wrote Lo.

PhilMusic.com has since learned that the mysterious sponsor is quite possibly Marlboro, the cowboy-smokin' brand of Philip Morris. Furthermore, the tobacco company has been rumored to have ponied up a rather large sum as the carrot on the stick for the reunion. Each member is said to be receiving a rather large sum - with estimates ranging from P2.5M to P10M apiece - in order to pull together for a 45 minutes set.

Given some of the friction reported between two camps of the eHeads over the years - the camp of Ely and Dianne on one side, and the camp of the other three guys (and their partners) on the other - it does appear that the money was sufficient enough to smoothen the path for a one-night gig.

There is some irony noted that it took a tobacco company to pull it off. As far as we know, three of the Eraserheads don't smoke. Raimund is asthmatic (hence the use of his email userID asmatik88), Ely is a heart attack survivor, and we have never seen Buddy with a cigarette in hand.

We also monitored the following message - containing the allegedly official announcement - posted on the Eraserheads mailing list on Sunday night by Villy Ray Villacorta:

Yes it's true. It's been in the works for several months na. Marlboro is sponsoring this concert and paid each of the members a staggering P10M each to do a full 45-minute set. This is the official announcement:

"No more blind items my dear friends. Yes. We are confirming it.
There is no point denying:

August 30, 2008 will be LEGENDARY!!!

The country's most influential band ever will be reunited for ONE NIGHT ONLY.

This once in a lifetime experience will be staged at the CCP
opengrounds.

Tickets are free and you can download it early August. Website to be
announced.

ONE BRAND.
ONE BAND.
ONE NIGHT ONLY...

ERASERHEADS REUNION CONCERT!"

At this writing, the website is speculated to be an offshoot of Marlboro's local website at http://marlboro.ph . Smokers are encouraged to sign up to be included in "The Red List" of special events. The list members are then notified of events by email and SMS. Could the Eraserheads Reunion concert be part of this?

If we could throw in some more speculative fuel in the fire, I'm guessing that music label Sony BMG will take the opportunity to make some money while the sun shines on this occassion - so expect some re-releases or noise involving the Eraserheads back catalog.

This early on, there has already been some buzz involving the release of an orchestral arrangement of the classic Eraserheads tune "Ang Huling El Bimbo" released as the single of an album of orchestrated pinoy rock songs called "Kumpas".

Posting on the Eraserheads mailing list, Romel Sanchez (a.k.a. "Sancho" - long time eHeads compatriot and former housemate of Ely Buendia):

There's a new version of "Ang Huling El Bimbo" performed by Ely Buendia, backed by FILharmoniKa, an orchestra under the baton of Gerard Salonga. It will be premiered this afternoon in Jam 88.3. I think RJ will play it tomorrow afternoon also. NU 107 will (hopefully) play this starting Monday or Tuesday.

This version is part of a new album called "Kumpas", an album of orchestral reworkings of popular pinoy rock songs.

So it's been that sort of a weekend. Smokin' news all around, and I don't just mean sponsored by Marlboro.

 

Philmusic.com

Lost.

I guess this has been one of the most crucial phase of my life. i dont know if i should call this my turning point, but there was this one morning, i woke up and i suddenly realized, that im the only one who understands my perspectives.

i suddenly wanted change. and i want other people to accept the change i wanted to happen. coz its atypical, unconventional and i dont know what else. so i tried to be honest. but yet again, honesty is not always the best policy.

i am suffering. and also, it just hit my head, that its all wrong. i made things happen, but it was all wrong.

i suddenly wanted to be alone. i suddenly wanted to disappear. i suddenly wanted a psychiatrist. i suddenly wanted a blue pill. i was back from myself, where i am afraid to hurt anyone but myself. i didnt realize, i am the only one who's hurting. coz i thought i wanted more. yet its the other way around.

no, i dont pity myself. i am not actually a fan of pity parties.

i think, no, i know, that guilt doesnt have to do anything about being honest. not even on having a clear conscience. this is why, being honest nowadays, deserves a credit. i also believe that some people doesnt even deserve the truth, because initially, they pretend to be okay with it. but as time goes by, little by little, your honesty blows up in your face.

weird right? you tend to make one virtue happen, yet, you suffer. what is that?

well, im one of those people who tries to be honest but not actually trying to enlist ourselves on that waiting area for canonization. i tried to be honest because i actually felt it was needed. just to get off that feeling about secrecy.

im done talking. im done being empathic. i think there are people in my life  who deserves more of who i really am.

My Name Is What? (tagged by Celest)

Rule: List all the names you were called by and the people who calls you that. Tag at least 5 members of your contacts and give a comment on their site for them to know they've been tagged.

Xavier - if you know me
Xave - if you're from the band scene
Mike D. - If you're Tani Santos, Chuckie Balbuena, Cris Ramos, Chill Figueroa or Leigh Topacio
Gretch - If you're from highschool
GX - if you're from FEU
Jietz - if you're from CSB
Chin - if you're my childhood friend or neighbor, or my kabarkada
Chenny - If you're Ivan, Abhie, Trish, Iza, JP, Toneth, Yesh or Suerte
MGCP - if youre Ivan or Abhie (we call each other a lot of names, sorry. lol)
Chennylin Spears - if you're Ona Nicolas
Greta - If you're Andrew Untalan
Agutayan - If you're my kabarkada in PeopleSupport
Jeremy - if you're a stranger who apparently knew me from random chatting or if you're an Experian Client who wanna cancel his membership, or you're a gay person crushing on me hahahahaha
Kuya Seyb / Kuya Xavier - If you're a haler or Edward Espinola
Cosmic - If youre Zobel Certeza
BFF - If you're Erika Hocson or Ryan Ramos
The Xavester - If you're Rae Ramos
Cheng cheng - if you're my Ninang Ester
Cheenee - If you're Josh Baldoza or Dianne Uyanguren or Teena Fisher
Sebyer - If you're Mamu
Fuhriend - if youre Don Peñalosa or Leeza Dela Fuente
X - if you're Celest or William Chester
Pepito - If you're Champ Lui Pio or Bianca King
Xavey - If you're Dea Bobadilla or Cheezee
Winner - if youre Ene Lagunzad
Kuya Babe - If you're Cher Lui-pio or Joan Sta Ana
Chen - if youre Alvin Saballa or my Uncles or Aunts
Yehboi - If you're a Flyffer
Staind - if you're Mariel of PinoyExchange
Prof - If you're Kelvin Yu or KC
AaronLewis - if you're from #nu107 mirc hahahahaha
Ching Chong - If you're Aldwin Ty
Dada - If you're Ysabelle or Gabby
Bhe - If you're Cheche Gamo

Kung Fu Chenny - if youre Ivan, Abhie, JP and Ona after watching Kung Fu Panda

Tagging: Al Lamboloto, Ryan Ramos, Ona Nicolas, Abhie Trillana, Ivan Ocampo

Emo Overrides.

I woke up, turned on my iTunes and listened to Joni Mitchell and Eva Cassidy all morning while drinking a cupful of black coffee.

Then i checked on my phone and ive got really emo messages from a friend. i tried responding and i know it wont just end there. and yeah hes kinda the reason why i started unlitxt-ing. i went outside and noticed that this will be a lazy saturday. the sky is gloomy and bright. which is ironic actually if i put it into words.

i really never wanted to play the "bata-ka-pa" card. but i know when a younger person is actually trying to be matured. but come on, being emo and matured doesnt actually fit in one package. and im not using the word immature as something negative. it's just a... one blunt fact. hindi pa matured e. ano pang salita ang pwedeng gamitin that wouldnt connote negativity?

is this really a phase? when we actually try to drown ourselves with sorrow and try to wait for someone to save us? or not even "save". just to get noticed that youre sad actually.

he says his sick and walang ganang kumain. and after daw magplay ng piano, hed play basketball kasi may trangkaso sha. sabi ko ang OA nya at alam kong alam nya na masama yon. he replied... "(insert what her-name-is here) doesnt care naman e. so ok lang." what the fuck right? i think im getting too old coz i easily texted back... for the record, a lot of people care for you. and that includes me. dont take us for granted because of one person that we really dont know personally. i understand that ur sad, pero that doesnt mean you should neglect your health. stop being emo at maaayos rin yan. if not, therell be a lot of things waiting for you. u askd me regarding maturity before, now is the chance to prove that you are. i care. period.

and thank god he took it seriously. coz seriously, im getting seriously annoyed. seriously.

i may not be the person who has the brightside ideas, pero drowning on too much drama stirs up my stomach. i think we have half of the day to indulge in it, pero kung naitulog mo na, can we please know that its a new day.

sometimes, i wish to be young again. pero kung nareach ko na ang level 120 tapos babalik ako sa level 1, i hope nasakin pa rin yung stats ko. i dont think i would want that kind of trait back.

"i see trees that are green... red roses too..."

The Real Blogging Starts Now

Ive been so weirded out by strangers reading some of my blogs. Actually, the part that im more weirded out is i know that they were reading it. (You know that small boxes appear in the most bottom of the page? The "Who Viewed My Page" list? That.)

I miss blogging randomly. Like what i really feel, what i really do, what i really like and what i REALLY hate. thats the purpose of my blogging. its my bathtub and mountain dew.

So let the fun begin. ^^

--- ♫ ♪ ♫ ---

First off, i kinda traded my phone for something that looks like less um... dinosaur-y. My old phone is beginning to look like a mini-transformer that would lose its head off anytime it hits something.

it looks pretty much like this. ^^

of course i am dreaming to have an iphone but i think it could wait. This lil puppy has 3G, 2 Megapixel Cam, good set of speaker, expandable memory and a clamshell. so its perfect for me. I have this fever coz of my nasopharyngitis since wednesday night and last night around 830PM, i think i almost became delirious and went to greenhills just because i wanna have my old phone fixed. it lost its screen around 7pm. but due to my impulsiveness, i browsed around and got this phone instead. three stalls na lang yata yung bukas kasi closing na pero sige lang. i think i just got lucky with this deal.

i was supposed to get mico's guitar effects. pero i think a phone is more important. (and im pointing out na may sense of maturity ang pagkuha ko nito. chura lang.) so it can wait.

and as i quote champ with my nasopharyngitis-induced promise to quit smoking coz its starting to kill me already... "PUTA!!! PARTY NA TO!" i just hope i get well for next week. i kinda sense that im getting a real job. im starting to hate what i really do with this scene. its burning me out.