On backstabs.

At this day in age sometimes, all we think is life survival. Bills, work and what life has brought us. Friends come and go, relationships may work but one things for sure, there will be people you might  consider your friend and the next thing you know, youre out of blood due to the wounds on your back you'll never imagine you'll have. I am a very trusting person and I easily get attached. I also find myself investing a lot of emotional support when things go rough. But this recent relationship I had, got ruined by the people I trusted. Fueled a jealousy that may had a basis but way too over, instead of fixing it, theyd rather make me as a gaslighter. That instead of talking to us, we were like kids playing tug of war, whose side in on whose, instead of handling it like adults. There is one person I considered close because when he had a breakup with his bf, I let them fight in our house, get drunk and cleaned up their vomit, I was also on his side when he started to lose friends. I know im kinda stubbon on private shit, I read stuff, my fault to browse my hubbys phone and read the conversations that lead my heart to get broken into pieces. I felt like i also lost my friends in real life already and I have to deal with this on my own. I was shattered. And because of the things they feed him, he got to a judgment that hurt me, another person that got involved (well, for being a fucking whore trying to snake his way to my hubs) making it look like its a clean thing to do. without considering what we feel after breaking up. That breakup was for a good cause. I felt like I was the bigger person for letting him go until people started to get involved being the devils advocate. I mean they could have reasons to hate me, but at least dont step inside my house, right? These judases are out of control. Now I have to just swallow the rage and live like i never care. As long as were together. Hope this is the right thing to do. Im praying for our love. And for their souls.