[none]

if u had an ex... way back highschool or lets say ten years ago... never had a talk that ur thing was over until u graduated then went separate ways without the phone numbers coz u moved in a new place.. same as that person... then u waited for that person all along then u had someone new... then ur getting married next month... then that person(UR EX) just messages you in friendster...

"HI... NAAALALA MO PA BA AKO? MEJO HINDI KA NA NAGPARAMDAM AFTER GRADUATION. I WAS LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU. KUMUSTA NA?"


IS THIS FOR REAL?????????????????????????? CAN SOMEBODY COME OVER MY HOUSE.. BUY ME A MOUNTAIN DEW THEN PAKILAGYAN NG BAYGON. THANKS.

(on a different note... baguio happening will be posted soon i promise. coz right now... i think hell is already opening its gates. im disoriented... disturbed.. in panic.. and clueless of what to do. reply? block? just take things coolly? or.... *dies*)

**********

overreaction. putang ina paki ko sa kanya.

broken record.

all i have is an empty ashtray for me to fill.
wallowing through these walls of emptiness
as i bounce back and forth
without any redeeming value.
i try to gain everything
that i might have lost
but fuck it has no sense at all
i gather all the letters of the alphabet
that my fingers could reach
while it seize my blood
from flowing through my very whole being
and it gives me a headache
and a stomachache out of being
hypochondriac
i wanna throw up
every memory of you
that i can imagine
and save myself from every
pigments of your shadow
pictures of your smile
recalls of your laughter
and i dont wanna remember
a moment of my gleams
coz all the time i think
that i just made my heart jump
temporarily
it sucked all the future
that i held tightly
with those stars that we both thought
we could have in a lot of possible ways
but to let it go
just to make it fall
for someones wish to be granted
was the fight i gave up
for my own sanity
and now
regretting my very existence
hurts me more.
over and over.
again and again.
i dont know what to do anymore
with everything that i have
seemed like a meaningless tragedy
that ive been trying to abandon for
a quarter of this life
coz i have been finding myself
wiping all of my tears
without anyone hearing me cry.
i am the loneliest broken record
anyone could afford to listen to.

oh my god mraz.

and i had a conversation in ym and suddenly.. as the normal ADHD me.. i asked "bading ba si jason mraz?" then he said teka may ippaste ako.

an interview with jason mraz:

But, it's not just his songs or his boy-next-door good looks that keep him in high demand among fans, writers and critics alike. His provocative pronouncements about love, friendship and music-even sexuality-add considerably to his mystique. When he talked about his latest collection, he even "defined" himself this way: "Jason Mraz is from space"!

In another interview, he disputed rumors that he was gay, but described himself as someone who has a "bisexually open mind. But, I've never been in a sexual relationship with another man."

When we asked him to elaborate on this, he calmly answered: "My mind is open to these things. There are a lot of open minds in the arts and in my social circle. I have quite a number of homosexual friends. When you're raised in that kind of social scene, you question your sexuality, because you have an open mind to love-man and woman!

ISA PA.

Is Jason Mraz claiming to be bi-sexual?

In the latest issue of Genre magazine, Jason Mraz discusses about his unconventional gay relationship, "I had a gay friend I was hanging out with just about everyday. We were basically best friends. It took me about three months before I realized, 'Oh my god, we're dating.' It wasn't until we were out for dinner on Valentines Day that I realized we both we're having a very romantic time together." He adds, "Right before I moved to California he gave me a pretty strong willed kiss goodbye, which I have never experienced before. Unfortunately, he had a little bit more facial hair than I like." The singer is currently promoting his latest album, Mr. A-Z. He later spills more about his sexuality. "I have a bisexually open mind, but I have never been in a sexual relationship with a man. If the right one came along, then sure." He is currently in a relationship with a beautiful young lady but adds, "She's a tomboy, if that helps."

wow. o ano tangina nyo ha!

change

ok xavier.. want to "clean" up your life? and change your lifestyle?

start with your hair!



i cut it myself. and yep i have to dye it back to black. ito na ang simula.

**********



750am:

im inside that demon's guts now. and i feel so squeamish with the graphics. good thing i am off that stage. im so sleepy and im still searching for moves. the controller is starting to hurt my thumb. shit. i will be dante. i promiss you that.

finished desperate housewives episode 13. i wanted to post spoilers but what the heck. i should be sleeping by now.

ignore me if u dont know what im talking about.

trying to look for a website that i could create my NFSMW car. shit my car rocks.

beaten up earl. tanginang nigga yun sisiw lang. ang angas pa ng voice message.

weird thing im about to beat jewels. thing is she didnt leave any messages. fck man shes hot. sana narinig ko man lang ang boses nya para napagnasaan. lol

im pretty confused with rog and mia. rog said before that mia was just getting some money from me. razor knew about rog and he was like asking me kung san ko sha nakilala. i cant recall kung san nga ba.

and since the policemen had the hots for my car.. (its just a moss green cobalt SS with the highest specs until blacklist 8) i had to use my green mitsubishi with.. a very annoying noise actually. and evem i get the highest engine, transmission, suspension, tires and nitro for it, i feel unsatisfied.

didnt get baron's and earl's car. i wonder what happened to my pink slips. im not getting any good cash fuck. i wanna buy that viper. eh aayusin ko pa yun so gastos ng malaki.

**********



i want to be dante. i think i have to workout everyday, straight, for 2 years become i REALLY become dante.

im gonna have my shop with no name... eat my pizza, and if ever somebody visits me unwelcomed and try to kick my goddamn big table... ill be jumping high, making my ebony and ivory guns spit burning lead then ill let him taste the edge of my rebellion sword. "fuck you skeleton man and mr-monster-with-a-head-that-explodes". then bash the billiards table, throwing the balls mid-air... then shoot the cue ball to hit all the balls (in slow motion) hitting all the enemies.

suh-weeeeeeeeeeeeeeettt!

and if i transer to another school..

shit i still look like the biggest loser. even in southpark. oh well...

**********
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RON!!!!

sorry i wasnt able to come. ill explain pag nagkita tayo. :(

just woke up and im bored.

well somebody just stole our doorbell. isnt that cute.

im fuckin bored and my plan for the day is...

beat up EARL of Need for speed Most Wanted. how... exciting.

constellate.

please dont leave...

YAN ANG MGA SABADO!

ok ok. ive had enough activities that could make me rest for a long time. my last saturday was invaded with BIG events. like one of my loves (nakerz!) celebrated her birthday but i got uber late coz one of my bestest BESTEST friend got me a ticket to a JASON MRAZ event at NBC. we were with burns and just laughed, screamed, sang along and uh... looked at some bad clothes.





i hated my cam so much. kulang sa pixel. anyway...


this really really good friend bought me a ticket to one of my fave artists' performance,, jason mraz. THE MRAZ!

so when he said hes getting me a ticket... id be stupid to say no. burns and ivan had a plan (with khaled supposedly... but he was busy with school :( ) anyway... jason mraz played songs like...

that's the original playlist. ivan got it after the show. ansaya kasi si ivan rin yung kasama ko sa front ng jars of clay concert. :D now hes like my concert buddy!!! yey!

we were pretty near na rin. kahit malayo naman okay lang kasi maliit lang ang NBC. i saw miro there as well. nakikikulit. my god.

paolo santos was the front act. i actually went outside when he sang moonlight over/in/on(whatever) paris and had a yosi. na sumunod naman si ivan. but when pao (uy close!) sang magasin and made that funny move... natawa naman ako and yep.. gusto ko na uli sha :)

then jason mraz played at around 930pm. and damn hes sooooo good. he's too spontaneous with some adlibs and very very VERY impressive mind you. wala akong nasabi. i cried when he played "you and i both". im such a crybaby.






paolo santos played with him din as well. really really good!

i left nung last song na coz baka hindi ako makakuha ng cab to go to redbox where claire celebrated her birthday. oh yeah lots of drinks, food and pretty pretty people. eh hot ang celebrant e. lol

everybody was there already when i arrived and claire was a bit uh... tipsy already. yeah, thats the word. lol sang bakit ngayon ka lang with the host of the night vj nicole and enjoyed angel hair with shrimp pasta. *burps*




nicole and claire


claire and john joe.


don quixote and dea. lol


claire, joe and nikki


vjs' duet


THE talk.


and more talk with champ eagerly explaining things and claire eagerly understanding them. well... hmm..


sarah geronimo uh.. paula, shel, dea, dork, champ, claire and nicole. luv these guys. rhoda took the pic.


pretty much everyone. except wala pa ako ng mga oras na yan. :D got it from claire's lj.


unfortunately i had to leave early coz i hav to meet burns and ivan pa. so we three had dinner sa greenbelt na rin since malapit ang the fort dun. we stayed sa Kitchen for about two hours and just had a plate of fat food. yeah. i love it!


ivan, burns and me


for the abhie who was missing in action. *sigh* miss u abs! WE miss u sooooooooo much!


fee fi fo.. sarap ng liempow

then we went to Penguins malate to have a pitcher of margarita and some "intimate" talking (right burns? *wink*). camwhored a lil


ang mga pout nga naman!


YEH! burns took the pic! :D luv ya burns!


then kate winslet after eating good liempo.


and then ronald dropped by. we went straight ahead to starbucks and still had some talk (and this time... im the one whos a bit drunk) about a uh... mutant and mouse killing methods. ya. good conversation. MEATY good conversation. then after, ivan dropped by our house. slept at around 8am.

yan DAPAT ang mga sabado.

happy 20th, claire! :D

... the hottest, funniest, sweetest, wittiest

ive ever met. i love you so much claire bear!!!

stayin all alone on a friday

last year was a prophetic year. and now they say its the year of our destiny.

well my year begins with BIG shakes. i dont wanna post why but yep.. im in big pain right now. problems are crashing in.

when you stir powdered juice in a glass.. you'll see a whirl right? my stirring begins. and right now.. im on the farthest side. the one near the glass. before going through the center... ill experience a lot AND the swirling will be more intense. at least in the end... the drink will be well mixed and i am all set.

im just trying to make my self brave and think of how to resolve it. ive got a good plan but shit... itll be a big change for me.

25 years and i think i have to grow up. im kinda nervous that the wedding might get postponed. *sigh* is this all a big test? i mean... IF this is the year of my destiny... i dont wanna see myself on rock bottom. i never got scared of that but i think more of the people who depends on me.

i swear... im gonna die fucking filthy rich. and hot.

now this is all because of a friday with no alcohol. amanna buy some vodka and get drunk.oh wait. i was drunk last wednesday. :s im not gonna be alcoholic. there's no hotness in being alcoholic. im gonna jog like crazy. but i dont wanna jog on a friday night. oh shit thats worse.

well i guess id be with rakki then. beating up all the drag racers in the hood. u know whattam tellin? yo yo zup foo.

oh shit i really need some vodka. oh wait.. no. itll be claire's birthday party tomorrow night.(HAPPY BIRTHDAY HOMMIE!) of course there will be booze. so im gonna save my thirst for tomorrow.

*sigh* well... four glasses of grenadine, sprite and vodka wont hurt. so ill just be having my vodka then.


oh yes... and they say this is the year of everybody's destiny.

**********
500ml of sprite plus grenadine is NOT shirley temple. [21 Jan 2006|06:49am]

its a friggin sugar rush at what... 649 am?

read mysummerstars she's entry and she got one of my most favorite book. a cabot. I LOVE YOU SHEEEEEE! my sister, che and my bestfriend trish read that and they never got out of it. i flooded (in a way) comments on her page. yup. its official. hyper.

she was the one who gave me "vinces life" my last birthday. and god i love it. can you be my book partner now? like can we have a book club or sumthin. :D

i should sleep. and now im crashing. ZZZZZzzzzzzzz

SSDD.

yeh yeh. what ive done yesterday is too lame to be lj-ed. i just got my clothes out of my terrace (it has been hanging for like 5 days shit) folded, then cleaned up my room.

since i was really bored as a mallard on my aunt's freaky drawer, i thought of cleaning my bed. like i turned it upside down. of course im not surprised that all the dust and objects that were lost years ago were all gathered there (would u believe i saw my HIGHSCHOOL PATCH there! jesus). man it was insane. wanted to take pictures of it but im not gonna sabotage myself, no of course not.

then a phone call just made it all right. yeh champ. made EVERYTHING alright. hush now xave. ur not supposed to say... "I AM MORE THAN EXCITED!!!!!" (will kill u too huh!)

then watched golden globe and hooray for desperate housewives, dr house and LOST. they all friggin won. yey! i love those shows. LOST LOST LOST. too bad matthew fox didnt get it.

chris rock is sooooo rude.

today, just roamed around robinsons place to torture myself inside topshop coz i finally saw a pair of pants ive been dying to have. but i stopped myself from swiping things away coz ive got a lot of budgeting to do for this year. new aims, dudes... new aims. ;) i am promising myself to be the most kuripot, cheapskate of all. lets just see. forget i wrote that.

then ryx and i watched underworld 2. its good. still one of my favorite movies. lycans vs vampires, vampires vs vampires, son to father. cliches but i love it bloodier and darker. yeeeeehh.

ill be having a new job next week. i was about to go to singapore BUT ill try out call center again. i dont wanna go outside the country yet. wag muna. hope i could find the right account for me. promising not to be late and type faster like 1000wpm. para mapabilis ang promotion and big bucks. dami kong plano na gustong mangyari for this year. cheer for me please. sana kaya ko to.

Fuck You.

let me count the fucking ways.

fuck you coz you are one of them.
fuck you coz you're a fake
fuck you coz you are a pig and a sheep
fuck you coz u dont know what im trying to give you
fuck you coz i made my heart open
fuck you coz i never imagined you would take it for granted
fuck you coz u think you're ALL GOOD
fuck you coz u think youre special
fuck you coz i made myself available for you
fuck you coz you make me expect
fuck you coz u make me wait
fuck you coz YOU ARE FUCKING ONE OF THOSE FUCKING MORONS WHO JUST FUCK AROUND THEN FUCKING LIE!

fuck you coz u made me fall
fuck you coz i wasnt EVEN expecting you to catch me but you added on the pain by stepping on my heart
fuck you coz u still manage to read this
fuck you coz you know im weak
fuck you coz youre not making me sleep
fuck you coz you make me shed tears i havent seen for years
fuck you coz i met you
fuck you coz you broke me
fuck you coz you're there

and shit i wanted to hurt you but i couldnt. coz i still fucking feel i couldnt.

and im fucking too old for this. but wow you made me young all over again..

 

pako.

patuloy kong nililinlang ang katahamikan. hinahayaang dalhin ng hangin ang bawat pagkukusang hindi kailanman umasa ng sukli. hindi na paglimot ang tawag. kasinungalingan na. dahil patuloy pa ring pinatotohanan ng sakit at munting mga kirot ang hinahatid mong alaala na binura sa pamamagitan ng lupa, ngunit ninanamnam pa rin ang sugat na patuloy mong sasalingin.

nananadya ka ba? o ako na ang gumagawa nito? pero sabi nga... na ang mga sagot sa buhay ay nasa mga pinakasimpleng bagay. dinadaya ko pa rin ang aking pagiisip maipagtanggol ko lang ang iyong pagkatao. na hindi mo magagawa yan. malamang sadya nga. at pagod na akong sumalo sa mga luhang hindi na dapat akin.

gumuguhit lang ang usok kasabay ng mga salitang hindi lumabas sa kabila kong tenga. at hanggang sa loob pinahirapan mo ako. magbibitaw ng mga pangakong alam ng diyos na hindi mo paninindigan. na laging paniniwalaan, kahit walang rason para sandalan ang paniniwalang yon.

dadayain ng ngiti sa bawat kasalubong ka. dadaanin sa tawa ang mga patawa mong hindi nakakapagpasaya. isa na lang ang dapat kong payungan... ang sarili kong patuloy kong pinabayaan wag ka lang maulanan. wag lang mabasa ang mga pisngi mo. kalokohan. isang MATINDING kalokohan.

on hangovers, lost and shallowness

i threw up gazillion times. this very bad hangover is killing me. oh well. gotta eat more chocolates.

watched LOST's latest episode. god dude. GOD!

i know u hate spoilers. but i cant wait to let this all out.

ok so michael went on with his chatting with walt. there were rumors that there is a second hatch. coz walt couldve not just picked up an "apple" from a tree. (u get that, huh huh? "apple" like that laptop? apple the brand? wasnt funny? ... fuck u!) fuck that. i mean... there cant be hatches and hatches. since the writers are a bit psychotic,,, they should explore their weird imagination to do something creepier than that. like the monster. i was expecting a creepier creature but.. yeah the black smoke will do. i had goosebumps when it "stared" (apparently... it has no pair of eyes) at eko. IN HIS FACE. shit that, man, shit. it didnt touch eko. maybe.. they were both... black? oh you smoke you. you should stop hurting the whites then. discriminative monster.

it's eko's flashback, this episode (i sounded like yoda there). and just when i thought that that plane in season 1 with all the mama mary coated heroin was just a small twist for charlie. BUT NO. it was eko's past. and what's it doin there.

i was kinda expecting more of kate and jack on that episode but *sigh*. 3 minute appearances lang.

anyhoo... i should eat my lunch by now. i squeezed out my guts the whole morning coz of what we had last night. alkohol alkohol alkohol. utak moy buhul buhol.

**********



sabi ng kabarkada ni jon kagabi habang nagpapatugtog ako ng vindicated tska helena... "EMO IS GAY". sabi ko.. then so be it. feeling mo lalakeng lalake ka pakshet.

drunk and broken.

yeah. im drunk and having my most vulnerable state.

oh shit. stop playing games with me. i fuckin know that ur just playing. u fuckshit. i am tired of you playing around. and i dunno why im lettin u.

i have a life. u just dont crash back IN MY LIFE then make me think im a horrible person. that im the one who "fascinated" you. that im the one breaking u.

coz fuckshit... ITS THE OTHER WAY AROUND!

yeah, u know what i am. i always let you. and u know im that stupid when it's you that were talkin about.

oh shit im nauseous. i cant even type the proper way. fuck u fuck u.

fiesta

tangina hindi pako nautulog. i was downloading LOST and antagal kong nagintay. hanggang sa.. nung natapos... hindi yun yung file. SHET!

at ngayon di nako makatulog dahil fiesta. ang VIDEOKE MACHINE NG KAPITBAHAY NAMIN AY NASA TAPAT NG KAWRTO KO! at may kumakanta ng til my heartaches end ng pangapat na beses na. hindi nya alam ang song mga kaibigan. ewan ko kung ano ginagawa nya.

mamaya nako magpopost ng matino. dahil BUANG na ako rito.

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Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

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isang mabilisang hinga lang.

ok ok.

my house of cards is falling gently. although ive got my queen. wish i could get over this phase. umpisa ng taon sabay ganito.

anyway... jan 11 is my dads death anniversary. so its like a one weird family reuninon again since sa mismong house namin sila pupunta. all of my pamangkins, pinsan and aunts/uncles had dinner. here sa magulo kong bahay.

until my auntie was really excited about somthing na hindi ko gaanong narinig since nagtitimpla ako ng iced tea. and since hindi ako nakapagreact... tumayo sha sa table, lumapit sa akin at inulit ang kwento.

auntie: "huy.. nakabili nako ng lote!!!"
ako: "lote? lupa ba yun? *taka* para saan? bahay mo na naman?"
auntie: "para satin. sa may heritage. sa the fort?"
ako: "heritage? *wide smile* village? subdivision?"
auntie: "ano ka ba. yung cemetery sa the fort. *yakking endlessly and i spaced out myself UNTIL that statement*"

AKO!: O_o

ako: "teka teka? ano to dark comedy?" *laughs awkwardly*
auntie: "para kang tanga. shempre dapat paghandaan na natin yan no!" *punta uli sa table* ... ay nako ang ganda ng place! alam mo ba may lupa din si korina dun na 3.3 million pesos!"
ako: *hatid ng pitsel sa table* ay. dapat ba tayong maexcite lahat?
*all eyes ON me* ... *silence*
auntie: "anu ka ba. may hill dun tapos pang anim na tao yung lupa natin! may maliit na sapa.. tapos OVERLOOKING! pag nov 1 may mga activities dun like fishing competition, trick or treating.. grabe masaya don *smiles so wide making it ALL REAL*"
pinsan ko: "aanhin mo naman ang activities eh patay na tayo!"
auntie: "malay mo bang may activities pa rin ang mga ghosts?!"
tito ronnie: "gaano naman kalaki yang lupa na yan? baka naman ilagay tayong nakatayo jan?"
auntie: "pang anim kaya. meron din tayong space para sa mga iccremate. ay. *ponders* hindi naman siguro tayo sabay sabay na mamamatay noh?"
ako: O_o
ako uli: "OK! this IS FREAKING ME OUT!"
auntie: "ano ka ba! dapat talaga meron na tayong ganyan! maganda kaya yung place.. *repeats everything ALL OVER again*

hindi ako nakakain. AT naka react.

i just cant believe may lugar nako.. sa sementeryo. oh my god. its not really funny at all.

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untitled #02

black ants gather around my coffee cup
as i stare at those gleaming eyes
with your smile that never lasts
until the break of morning.

i may just listen to you breathe
while you do your thing
and i scratch my shoulder lazily
witnessing beauty happen in front of me

random clicking
endless puffing
this mistake
was the perfect thing
and i never thought
this would bring me to
endless moonlights
and musical streams

tonight
i will be lost forever
and this time
ill breathe beside you much longer

i thought i had it all
until you reminded me
that i can fall in love
more and over
again.

solemn sunday.

i forgot to go to church. geez. so scratch it off my new years resolution. my god it has been so long i could almost forget how to sing ama namin.

i just watched dvd and played games. the whoooolle day, and yes i ate dinner, TWICE! but i skipped lunch and breakfast. so i dunno if it's equal. blech anyways...

just finished chicken little, alexander, laws of attraction, identity then boogeyman got stuck on chapter 10. tangina. cursed is a cursed movie. coz i cursed and cursed while watching it. so dont you even dare.

same as my god of war. hindi ko na talaga sha nalaro. it gets stuck right after kratos gets that architect's son's skull. fuck that animation. yun ang dahilan e.

so now im still beating up BARON of NFSMW. lucky me i always get the pink slip so get to own every enemy's car then sell it since pangit ang mga kotse nila. bwahahahaahaha TAGUMPAY! *holds fist midway to the air and pretends to hold a golden goblet* i stopped when i saw the challenge. it was a DRAG race. one tiny tip to all of my friends who likes video games. INSTRUCTIONS ARE NOT ALWAYS THE ONES YOU ALREADY KNOW. SO READ IT! now i have to search online on how to DRAG race. hahay. A for eyfort.

i cant still finish chicken little. i am such an idiot.

**********



HOORAY FOR BACKSTABBERS!

HOORAY FOR THOSE PEOPLE WHO PRETEND THAT THEY'RE YOUR FRIENDS!

HOORAY COZ I KNOW SOME OF YOU ALREADY!

HOORAY COZ IM NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING COZ ITS SENSELESS.

HOORAY FOR PAIMPORTANTENG PEOPLE!

HOORAY FOR MAAARTENG PEOPLE!

HOORAY COZ BUBULA NA LANG ANG BIBIG NYO SHET KAYO!

RAH RAH RAH!

real-life drama and a gimik night.

..::Friday::..

che and i went to rob place to buy some books and grab something to eat. andaming tao and akala ko may nagpeperform sa may activity area. kasi yung mga tao nasa bandang gitna and they were staring at something sa may bandang itaas. there was a cat that got stuck in a pole. between 3rd floor and 4th.



che and i were wondering kung paano napunta yun don. everybody was nervous seeing the cat having deep breaths plus those really scared eyes. man twas pretty high. nasa 2nd floor nako ng lagay na yun. people screamed everytime the cat moves dahil pihado.. dedo sha oras na bumagsak sha dun. there's this girl who got a ladder para may masampahan ang pusa. but the cat was fighting. baka iniisip nya na itutulak sha and nakakataranta rin naman ang dami ng tao. geez parang 911 live. i was even holding the rails
oh-so-tightly dahil sa kaba. then those bright security guards of robinsons place got a blanket na um... medyo bitin so IF the cat falls, masasalo nila. IF, masasalo nila. parang mantel ng table e. naisip ko shet... masusukat ang galing ng mga to. parang circus lang.



then may ibang good-hearted filipino citizens na tumulong. meron ding girl na kumuha ng isang mabigat na white board na feeling ko e pintuan. everybody was wsshh-wshh-wshh-wshh-ing plus that hand gesture para lang lumapit ang pusa. pero the cat tried to fight kaya grabe nagsigawan na naman yung mga tao. dahil isang leg na lang yung nakakapit at talagang malalaglag na sha.



then white-board-girl caught the cat's behind and ladder-girl pushed it. risky pero sobra na kasi yung suspense. thank god it landed safely. the mall applauded. lol. ansaya.

after malling, mga bandang 10pm na, hinatid ko na si che. al, isang and i played tony hawk then nagtext si che na despedida na pala ng tita nya. 2am na, ang naabutan ko eh SIYAM na gran matador. oh yeah you heard me right. SIYAM. AT humabol lang ako nun ha. feeling ko naka anim na sila. they were like 9 lang. pero geez. lasunan.

mejo nakakailang shot pa lang ako tapos kinausap ko na yung sister ni che. her name is chin. she was my EX bestfriend. we had this great-wall-of-china-ish na gap nung naging sila ni james. since wala si che dahil tulog na, hindi ako makakatanggi sa bawat tagay ko. at lalong hindi ako makakauwi coz almost all of her cousins were there.

james brainwashed chin and mainly sila ang naging reason kung bakit nagkagalit galit ang family namin. since chin knew almost all of my kalokohan.. mejo nasiraan nya ako ng konti coz james' bestfriend likes che. at ang ginagawa nya eh "inilalakad" nya yun sa mom ni che. until nagustuhan sha.

my mom and sister were furious. and to cut the sappy story short, we proved them wrong. pero circumstances.. nagkahiwalay pa rin kami. but at least hindi kami nagkasakitan na gaya ng kay james and chin. physical, mental and emotional. as in kung sa akin nangyayari, i dont think buhay pa ako ngayon. and that night, hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko na pagsabihan si chin that she deserved A LOT better. na wala akong pakialam kung sila man o hinde pero one thing im really sure. I HATE JAMES.

and yes... i was drunk LIKE HELL. mahigit isang taon din bago ko naranasan ang ganung pagkalasing. yung tipong maoospital nako sa hangover.

9am na ko nakauwi. or 7am ata. hindi ko na alam. ang naaalala ko lang eh gumapang ako paakyat ng hagdan.

**********

..::saturday::..

nagising ng 2pm.

or.. nabuhay ng 2pm.

i threw up and EVERYTHING that you could imagine when having a VEEEEEERRRYYY bad hangover. plus the allergy attack ha dahil nakakain ako ng hipon ng di sinasadya.

i was really nervous dahil akala ko hindi na ako matutuloy sa dinner namin ng hale. mamu texted me na sabihan si anna and dea dahil may dinner kami with them. mamu, miss chu, joal, veej, angel and the band members. hale family nga raw. :)

anna and i met sa may starbucks then dumiretso na sa little asia promenade. andaming food. *burp* nagdala pa si omnie ng dinuguan from bicol na sobrang sarap.



, , and


the ever pretty and omz. look at that smile. nakanampootz.


, yashi and ms chu.


the boyz at si dea na nangungulit. lol


dokleng. lol


veejay


champ who was WISTFULLY drinking his water.


roll who was having some deep thoughts.


ang pagdating ni angel.


at nung masaya pa kami ni . coz...

the night turned out to be bad for others. dahil nagkagulo at nawalan ng phone si kimpoy at nadukutan si joal. marami rami rin ang nawalan that night. yan na nga ba ang sinsabi ko e. pag maraming pasaway, tiyak!

then mamu treated us sa grilla after the gig with trish pablo, jojo, yashi and ms chu pa rin. so kami na lang ni anna ang andun kasi umalis na si dea and inasikaso ni joal sa police station ang kanyang wallet. pero unfortunately... hindi nya nakita.

rico texted na gusto nyang gumimik since last day ng kanyang vacation leave. buti na lang andun si and and nagcoffee muna. ayun mejo kwentu kwentuhan at hay ang chismoso ko talaga. lol

then rico and i went to malate para kumain lang dahil AYOKO ng uminom at pakiramdam ko eh madededo ako kaka-alkohol. and i was eating bacon cheeseburger while yawning. he watched Alexander sa dvd and i fell asleep dahil hindi ko na talaga kaya.

supposedly hahabol sa SOP gig pero ngayon lang nagising.

*deep breath* taena ang haba.

dont you wish sometimes that youre blind?

"PRETTY is in the eye of the beholder... BEAUTY is in the soul..."

- rebecca gayheart
nip/tuck

just woke up and had the strangest dream.

i saw myself (having someone else's eyes/body or whatever that is) that i was blind. and i could hear myself say a lot of VERY weird sensible things. i woke up having this feeling... while staring at my bedroom curtain.. that i was missing a lot of things coz i could see. i wanted more of what i have and shit like that. i said (in my dream) that its what i see that makes my life so hard.

reaaaalllyyyy freaky, trust me.

on the other hand, i was DEEPLY disturbed coz... how can i LJ if im blind? oh thats sad.

i dunno if i should be depressed. this is another topic by the way.

i just cant understand why people do a lot of "stupid" stuff while consciously... they know that consequences and complications will be there at that endpoint. its so confusing. shouldnt we have a gameplan when we do "big" things? this is mushy, beware... like love for example. if we CHOOSE to fall... if we say that we are INLOVE, then if we're old enough, we should know OUR exact definition of that big feeling. im a fan of love. everyone knows that. first times are really really enjoyable, exciting, nerve-wrecking and yeah a bit risky.

but if it ends... even though its not as devastating as the REAL thing.. it still hurts.

FUCK MUSH!

i want beef and asparagus, um... shake sashimi and uh... i forgot that salad with crabsticks at teriyaki boy. yum. time to take a bath and go to glorietta.

yan ang ginawa sakin ng panaginip na yan. ginutom lang ako.

nostalgia.

Anna, She and i were talking about it the whole night. bringing back all the memories and geez. hiphop days. lolz

can still recall my equinox and jaloux days. god i cant believe it. well i guess its a phase. until pearl jam and nirvana were there.

but before the teenage angst and the rebel without a cause spirit came over me... here comes 89.1 DMZ, dance music zone. lolz


looking through patient eyes - PM Dawn
oh carolina - shaggy
I wanna be with you - fun factory
saturday night - whigfield
Funk Phenomena - Armand Van Helden
Zoom (Remix) - Fat Larrys Band**
The sign - ace of base
come baby come - K7
dying inside - timmy thomas
short short man - 20 fingers*
mr. personality - 20 fingers*
a girl like you - edwyn collins
informer - snow
always - erasure
lick it - 20 fingers*
selfish - the other two***
dreams - cranberries
extasi extano - chimo bayo
mmmbop - hanson
howgee - blackmachine
stars - simply red
ragga muffin girl - apache indian ****
tease me - chaka demus and pliers
tootsie roll - 69 boyz
sweet soul revue - pizzicato five
feel like dance - globe
do you really want me - robyn


*come to think of it.. i know three singles from 20 fingers. at ngayon ko lang narealize.

** 1993 was the year of remixes as i can recall. foolish heart was also remixed this same year. dmz does that anyway. MYMP of 1993. walang orig. lol

*** akala ko new order. they just had a remix of this song lang pala.

**** i can remember dayanara torres at sa linggo na po sila being philippines' dancing queen and had a top 10 dance song with maneouvres and x-people. hahahahaha

***** if anyone could recall who sang "friends" that were performed by streetboys before.. and kung sino yung nagrevive ng oh carol.. pakipost sa comments page pls. when i searched it.. i tried downloading EIGHT versions of it. neil sedaka, indian disco remix, chacha remix, smokie, paul anka, chuck berry, boppers and jan keizer. lol



so kung meron pa kayong naaalala... please message me and i would appreciate it a lot. :D

Zzzzz

i havent got my rest from the holidays yet. yesterday... i was with , , and at starbucks binondo to meet up. DV shopping yeh! since its my 2nd time around that area... might as well take some good valuable things there.

went to 168 and didnt get anything. i was looking for a ps2 game stall pero wala akong nakita. went to tutuban and i got a hamper for half of its price. red and black spiderman style. :D organizing is a must this year. no more boxers on the floor anymore. yey. oh oh and i saw this king size double deck for just 5thou. man... i was looking for it and there you go. dun lang pala.

ivan bought me a green and blue striped polo shirt. christmas gift. and i love it. thanks friend. :D

then i just went home to steal a 2 hour sleep coz may gimik pa kami. i think nakaalis na si abhie by now papuntang boracay. *sigh* hope everything turns out well for her.

videoke session with khaz, burns, steph, ivan, rico and ronald. FUN kaso bitin. 1 am na kasi ako nakarating eh hanggang 3 lang yun.

first busy day of the year

my last post was dated dec 30 pa ata. havent had time to post that grand yearend EK last friday. actually plano na namin nina she, acoy at anna yun and guess what... andun din pala ang hale. yey! havent uploaded the pics yet. sobrang natatamad pako. i think after ek... wala na akong naging lonetime. daming happenings. pero sobrang aliw talaga. so game.

**********

Enchanted Kingdom, December 30.

I was with , , estee and that day. we got a van for a very good deal then nagkita kita kami sa mcdo P. CAMPA (emphasis on that since sabi ni anna sa morayta raw at dun ako bumaba na nagmistulang koreanong galing airport.) i was wearing a beanie, jacket, shades and carrying a big backpack. mukha akong papuntang baguio at hindi Enchanted.

was so sleepy kasi hindi na sha natulog. lolz. ako ayun nginuya ang binili sa 711 sa byahe pa lang. wala ng ginawa kundi kumain at dumaldal. then after an hour nasa laguna na kami. :D



camwhoring talaga yan e. sobrang natamad na lang ako iupload lahat. anyway nasa multiply ko naman yang mga yan pagdating ng araw. apat lang nasakyan namin. sobrang pangain ng oras ang pila. hindi pa good vibes yung nasa pila ng anchors away.

oh before i forget that very important highlight of the day... i would like to congratulate acoy dahil tao na sha lol... and she for conquering her rollercoasterophobia. hooray! that first ride of the day.. space shuttle.. is indeed an appetizer.

yun lang ang nasakyan namin... space shuttle, then wheel of fate, anchors away and after hale's performance and the fireworks... rapids. kaya umuwi kaming basa. lol

i love the part when we were just walking around talking like maniacs with british accents... looking for something to eat. siguro yun talaga yung pinakagusto kong highlight nung araw na yun. yung magkakasama kaming lima at bonding. kung detail by detail... mahabang entry to trust me.

andami ding halers ang nandun. ansaya.

mariel gave me a bracelet. and i LOVE it. sobra. thanks mariel. :* miss u much. marami rami ring wala. sayang. pero ok lang kasi hindi na rin magkakaasikasuhan yan since andaming tao at nakakastress ang iba.

**********

New Years Eve, December 31:

ginising ako ni trish asking kung san kami magkikita that day. around 1240pm yun. its actually a tradition naming dalawa na magkita every new years eve. lunch or coffee. and this time... its lunch at don henricos with a lot of "steamy" conversation. hahahaha. oo nga tumatanda na kami.

since we're recycling our old resolutions na hindi naman nagamit... ayun kami at nagindulge na sa yosi and food dahil "bukas... iba na ang buhay natin." hahahaha. as if natutuloy. looking back... marami rami rin pala akong "ex-friends".

trish: nandito raw si allan bakla sa pilipinas?
xave: *chokes... grabs iced tea*... tinanggap sha sa airport? wala bang requirement dun na kailangan marunong ka magspell ng basic words?.. o baka naman ibang allan ang nandito. baka si allan bulkan.
trish: ha? e hindi naman kami close nun e. bakit sasabihin ng nanay nun sakin na .. "huy nagkita na ba kayo ni allan?
xave: *chewing.... shrugs* <
trish: nasan na kaya si ivy?
xave: *drops spoon and fork sa plate that made people from other table look* WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM? ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME LOSE MY APPETITE??? *shivers*

so ayun... yan ang mga annual routines namin. ang buhayin ang mga pangalang hindi kailanman dapat ng binabanggit.

we had trish's pics printed pala sa hello kitty shop whatever. basta fuji yun. sa may rob place. and shit. may pics nga pala kami nung bday ko and it almost made me cry.


perfect pic ng fashion club. *sigh*

**********

DECEMBER 31, 9PM MARV'S GARAGE

setting up for our mini gig. mahaba dapat ang post na to pero actually... walang highlight. isa lang shang party na nauwi sa well... common drama. pero tangina. kumpleto kami. and that almost made me cry. thank god teena brought her digicam.

i was running back and forth coz i downloaded songs na alam kong magbabalik ng alaala, sa una... pagiging hiphop namin nung highschool (ahahahahahahaahahahaha), pangalawa... kung sino talaga ang kayang magsayaw sa daan. so showdown ito. ng limang magkakabanda. ahahahahahaa anlabo.

playlist:
informer - snow
always - erasure
lick it - 20 fingers
dreams - cranberries
extasi extano - chimo bayo
mmmbop - hanson
howgee- blackmachine
stars - simply red
ragga muffin girl - apache indian
tease me - chaka demus and pliers
tootsie roll - 69 boyz
sweet soul revue - pizzicato five
feel like dance - globe
do you really want me - robyn

i missed three songs pa nga since naiinip ako kakaintay ng dl. friends, selfish ng new order tsaka the sign ng ace of base.

at shempre... nanalo si al. lolz. taena kabisado nya pa rin yung steps.

lasing ako. hanggang alas nuwebe ng umaga.

**********

January 1, Mandaluyong

woke up at around 2pm. family lunch and get together. i had the whole bottle of red wine and cheese all by myself. nagvideoke ako magisa singing an MYMP videoke cd.

yes im still drunk. until now.


i took this pic sa EK nung fireworks display na using she's cam. :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!