Coffee & PC // Greenhills // Eastwood

So we have this coffeemaker that we never used. Weird that they buy an appliance and not touch it. Hello have they heard of China Collections. Or stamps.

Ive been palpitating like crazy. I had three mugs of Folgers French Vanilla with cream and i dont think i will set a foot in starbucks again. If i want coffee based anything, that is.

Im meeting Erika at Greenhills today. Just to catch up. I mean a lot of things happened when i was hibernating in my own world. And besides... i need a coffee filter. Bathroom tissue doesnt look hygienic at all.

Sourberry will be rocking Al's bar tonight with Fernando Torres' Production. Everyone should check them out. I think they're promising. Seriously. (The fact that i tried to "manage" them hahahaha)

But... i will be going to Eastwood with Mamu and Bamboo tonight. 89.9's halloween party. Ive heard there will also be a lot of bands playing.

Ugh. I have to go take a bath now. My bladder is killing me.

----- ♫ (after 8 hours) ♫ -----

Just got home from everything.

This is why i regret buying a camphone with 3.2megapixel. I always forget to take pictures. super senseless.

Anyway, Ive met Janna and Erika at Starbucks Promenade (and yes i didnt order anything thank you.) Talking about random stuff and some weird issues i still cant comprehend and blog about. Roamed around Virra Mall to find Minnie Mouse's gloves and a new housing for my phone. Shes going to Embassy's Halloween Party, and hello E, i say go as Amy Winehouse. Dead cat as the hair and eyeliner. easier than minnie. or not hahahaha. then ate at Teriyaki Boy then went to Fully Booked for Nic Sheff's Tweak (as Ron recommended it), they have the book but i didnt buy it. coz i made a promise i have to finish the pending books... and now i regret not buying it.

as i wait for JM, i went to watsons and grabbed a bottle of shampoo, lotion, deo, tictacs (again), facial cleanser, and stuff i really didnt intend to buy coz i know i still have it. i was so bored waiting for an hour and a half.

went straight to eastwood, met with mamu, anna, leeza, and ayen. then i saw kimi and LT there. Had a pciture with Nathan Azarcon with his devil horns (which are cute by the way), ate DQ, roamed around the shops, saw a tongue ring (coz i apparently lost mine) then bought it, took a glimpse of the CDs Mamu gave me..

Sugarfree Live with MSO (hooray!!!!)
Bamboo's Tomorrow Becomes Yesterday (which i totally forgot to have it signed.. stupid stupid stupid)
Katy Perry's One of The Boys (..♪ i kissed a girl and i liked it.. ♪)
The Best Of Radiohead (wooooooooooooooo)
Queen + Paul Rodgers (i dunno if this is the queen that we used to know)
The Other side // Acoustic, Live and Loud (Versions of OPM band songs)
And Two Christmas Albums by Bloomfields and Martin Nievera. Sweet!

♥ Heart you Mamu. more and more. Thanks a LOT.

but i lost mamu, leeza, ayen and anna when i bought ice cream. So we just went straight home and i grabbed a bottle of sprite coz i, again, tempted to have some coffee.

My back hurts. and i miss this life. :D

Crazy Treehouse Prod.

It was a rainy night and i was really having a hard time going to the gig alone since i dont know where in ortigas 6underground is. So i called JM to go with me and got a cab at around 10pm.

I failed to watch Kjwan and 524 Project. I heard from Alden of Callalily that they were ridiculously awesome.

When Sugarfree started their set with Prom, then Kwarto... wow. Ebe come on. He's still a friggin god when he plays. Ciudad is REAAAALLLYYY good. i cant believe i dont have their album yet. And i said HI MITCH to Jal, and me closing my eyes for a second realizing that i am completely a moron.

Cecil and Kristina were there. Hooray!!!!

When Kean and I had the opportunity to talk outside the bar... man, he brought up that scene from Mcdo where we first hung out, callalily without any album yet. and the only song they have was stars then. Where he had this plastic cockroach and threw it at LT then she screamed like she was going to get murdered and the whole McDonalds stopped like it was in pause, everybody looking at her, LT with her tray, without any sound for 5 seconds and she, melting from embarassment. wow. that memory was almost surreal.

Pau of Join The Club drummed with Hale's Pitong Araw, Hale singing Suspension, and Shan of Mayonnaise perfecting every song on their set was pretty much AWESOME. crazy crazy Awesome.

Where the hell is Omnie? Man we miss you so much!!

sometimes... its really not an option to smile in a picture. i also think that i only have three pictures sa sobrang gulo at saya kanina. Ill wait for Kristina to upload the craziness.

Miguel Escueta being Miguel Escueta plus Kean Cipriano plus the hyperactive adrenalin-powered Champ is equal to RIOT. ang gulo ng buhay kanina. sobrang sayang magulo.

I really regret the fact that i almost didnt make it tonight. Man what a way to feel so sane.

Layout Day.

Weird that i had migraine for straight 3 days, and unlike Edward Cullen, i hated sunlight.My Migraine was gone after ive spent the whole day finishing two layouts. (edited 322am: Make that THREE!) My photoshop went berserk so i reinstalled it. And when i started finishing the Treehouse and Hale Multiply Layouts, i think my nerves went numb and the pain was gone.

Check it out yall. :D

Treehouse Multiply
Hale Multiply

Oh and by the way, just join the groups if you like. :D

Okay Drool.

I was uploading things from my Photobucket and whoa... the memories. i couldnt stop clicking. lol

anyway... i was supposed to blog the wonderful things you see in the mall. well mainly i was referring to MY mall, which is robinsons place, manila. Im not talking about amusement centers, or clothing shops... im talking about the food that would make you forget you wanna buy cds or cellphone accessories. (There's this Zara Trench Coat which costs like one 24-inch TV but wow hello i'll dream of it as if pandacan is new york. and yet again, this is about food.)

today, we went to Fully Booked rockwell so Ryan could buy two Stephenie Meyer books, eclipse and breaking dawn then roamed at the lower ground for something to eat. But hell, i ended up craving for ice cream. So weve got Fruits in Ice Cream. Mine was two scoops of Avocado, Ryan had scoops of Melon and JM had a scoop of Mixed Berries and Chocolate Mint (which is so weird by the way.) Then went to Rob Place again, so we could take a hold of Brooklyn Pizza. I already ate there twice last week, having huge slices of pizza, a plate of spicy shrimp pasta and buffallo wings, so i suddenly thought of other food to munch. Unfortunately, i forgot to take pictures of the mentioned items.

So i was thinking of having the cake i usually order at Secret Recipe...

...that Fruity Cake with freshly squeezed Orange Juice. And so i thought that i already had ice cream but i wasnt craving for anything. And then Yohgurt-Froz crossed my mind.

...with my all time favorite Mango or Banana+Strawberry. But hello, i said i already had ice cream.

So i went to Powerbooks to check if my card was already there coz i had it renewed and i was looking for a certain book that Ron told me. Listed but unavailable. And then i recalled the book that Jay picked up at Fully Booked and i suddenly had an idea of getting this...

Jimini Pizza's The Chicago Pizza Factory. Any topping would do. And for One Solo Pizza, man... you should try the wheat crust.

Until i realized i wanted Potato Chips and Orange Juice so we ended up eating at HotShots instead. Ryan was eating his salad (Ang plastic!!! hahahahaha), with Blue Cheese which tasted like Alien Gerber as Jay would put it.

Oh and Rob Place has Fruits in Ice Cream too. I think they should pay me for promoting the mall. Nah. Alma Mall na namin yun e. Its under renovation though. Pero you should try all these stuff once a week. It's good for your mental health ♥♥♥.

Oh, P.S. i got a new phone. Since Ryan and Ivan had the same model with different colors, white then purple... i got the black one. :)

Sony Ericsson K770. ♥ iPhone is so overrated. Or maybe im sourgraping lol

The People We Choose.

its 1105am and i had fixed my bed already. I dont know if its just me but is the new updated iTunes (v8.1) more bugged than a farm? i mean... seriously.

Its halfway October and this month has been so... nauseating. There were decisions to make, and the best (or worst) part is the realization with a LOT of things. As much as i would like to bullet items for you, i dont think im in the mood of being list-y as of this moment.

I have realized that situations are always there to happen, but we choose the people we expect to listen, understand and accept us for what we say, what we act, what we are, and what we decide. When i was younger, a lot younger for that matter, i established to not be prejudgmental on who to be friends with. And as i grow old, ive seen such familiar faces that disappointed me and what hurts me the most... it was the people that i held really close to my heart. I know that those things are bound to happen, but when you speak years of best times and you think those are the memories that serve as glue that holds your pieces together, ive never thought that it will also be the branch, on the cliff where you hang using one hand, just waiting for it to break.

It was not my finest hour. Choosing one side, not realizing what other people said might be more true than what i thought exists. Than what i thought was special. And than what i thought was worth fighting for.

Im finishing my cup of coffee when i heard Charlie running upstairs. I forgot that i left him at my sisters house and when i came back, their door was already locked. It's weird coz when im squirming down rock bottom, Charlie sits beside me, and puts his head at my lap, looking at me while wagging his tail. As i look at him, i cant help but compare a dog's loyalty from a human friend. No wonder there are old cat ladies, and sadly, its much disappointing for humanity to rely on other species' warmth. Hello trust issues. Seriously... how do you expect to survive?

An adage once said, Tell me who your friends are... and I'll tell you who you are. But nobody mentioned that some friendships has expiration dates. So if we were defined during the times that we are friends with someone, would we consider the fact that we have changed after the friendship is over?

I think it's not that people change. People don't change. They just show their true colors after some time. That's how friendship works right? Being "true" to each other? It's just that we have to accept that some truth, doesnt work for everyone.

--- ♫♪♫♪♫ ---

Sorry I have to mention Ryan, Rae and Dianne, for what its worth, you were my backbone last night. I will thank you through my homemade ice cream and my promise to love you more than you could imagine.

The Truth About Lies.

We get to wonder why we get hurt when people lie. If everybody lies... do we honestly think that we have the guts to get disappointed or get angry when someone has done it to us?

We lie to maintain somebody's secret, protect someone's reputation, avoid somebody's feeling to get hurt or to not get punished for something that was done. Means justifying the end? What kind of end are we talking about? We might think that for a day, a week, or a month... everything could turn out okay after the lie... but how long can we keep it that way?

Honesty is not always the best policy. Sometimes, we get to wish we never knew the truth for the reason that we can not handle it. The denial and deception makes us cling to the reality that we have started to believe in, and makes us hold on to our sanity. Maybe, some truth are bigger than us.Or truth is subjective, perhaps.

There are times in our lives, some of us i guess, makes us search for more. There are a lot of things that could bother us and yet, not know what those things are. We lie to ourselves that we are happy, we are contented, because thats how the meaning of life goes.

And please dont give me to Run-To-Jesus crap to simply know the truth. It doesnt work that way. Spare Him for the delusion you want to create. It might be the answer to the search, but lets not always rely on him and also not do something about it.

When we were kids, we were taught that lying was bad. lying was a sin. and so white lies were also explained to us as we grow, an unusually "lighter" lie. but still a lie. might as well call it gray coz it was never pure in the first place. and again, we are not in the position to say that its "lighter". it might be big for the person we lied to.

Personally, i dont take it negatively when someone lies to me. Not that i do not know or see when a person lies. I give the benefit of the doubt but theres this one thing that im REALLY afraid of.

I may not trust anyone.

Day One.

"They say we leave this world just the way we came into it ---- naked and alone.

So, if we do leave with nothing, What then, is a measure of a life ? Is it defined by the people we choose to love ?

Or is life simply measured by our accomplishments ?

And what if we fail ? or are never truly loved ? What then ? Can we ever measure up ?

Or will the quiet desperation of a life gone wanting, Drive us mad ?"

- One Tree Hill
s06e05

I woke up 830 in the morning. Unusual as i may say but my body clock got used of the fact that i open my eyes, half-awake half-asleep, i got up my bed, opened the terrace door, grabbed my towel, made some coffee, went to the dining table and had my face on one hand, at this very minute of the day.

I have never been so old, thinking that i woke up not because i just want to, but because i know that i have a life to fix.

Not that its a mess or its ruined, but i guess normalsy runs on a different pace for me. I could say that i have issues (and i mean ISSUES) that some people might think as easy, but we all know that the only obstacle of a process is always time. The effort, so so, having the mentality to know that you can do it makes it a lot easier but time isnt that friendly for some who needs it.

This will be the final quarter that i have to finish all tasks for people i said yes to. Because they need to know that i always had a goal for myself. And a friend said to me, i should stop doing things for other people. Coz im really getting old (by terms of age excuse me lol), and i need to be reeaaaaaaaallly stable for a 6-yr-old angel.

God is so good, i have "something" coming up. I dont wanna tell it yet coz i also believe it might get jinxed. hahahahahaha

It has been so long since my last blog (before that other one where i convince myself to click one button). One thing also bothers me. Series.

Pushing Daisies
Greys Anatomy
Priveleged
Heroes
Dirty Sexy Money
One Tree Hill
Desperate Housewives
House
Gossip Girl
Prison Break
Brothers And Sisters
90210
Fringe
Private Practice

I think my hard drives are going to explode. Actually, my H: drive is getting a lot weird already coz it just gets lost right before your eye. I mean... it will suddenly go missing.

Hay. Should I say, bright sunlight, not that hot (ewan ko lang mamaya), orange juice and pancakes starts your day right. Good Monday. :D

Press Send, Xavier. Press.

Ive actually typed an email for about a week now. It contains the things that i truly feel to also prevent damage.

On the other hand, putting myself on other shoes, especially on the receiver, it would look scared, unprofessional, and i dont know what. But giving him the benefit of the doubt, he'd understand the contents of it whole-heartedly. Or Im hoping he would.

I edited again, but i cant bring myself to press the Send button. Im more than afraid how everyone would react and feel about it.

Fine.

It was so hard to gather myself especially when change suddenly comes rushing in your life. It has been so long since ive been idle doin my own stuff for the past how many years. Ive been stressing myself out for other people and yes, everybody doesnt think its right.

I cant even remember the last blog i posted. A blog about my life which could somehow be interesting. And i really started to wonder... as of this very minute, do i really know what i wanted? Or im just too caught up with other people's interest that i have to please them by always tagging along?

I want to finish the book im reading. I wanted to finish the series ive been watching. I wanted to cook, clean, run errands, hug charlie the whole day, stare at the rain while drinking hot choco.

.....

Okay, moment collapsed. Somebody called me to invite me on his birthday.

Somebody once told me i should "not stop". thing is, i wasnt actually aware that i started.