new gameboard.

i always forget to go online and post here. ive (i mean we) been so hooked up with cranium.



bought it 3 weeks ago at toy kingdom, and its like a trivia, charade, name that tune, pictionary and lot of other games rolled into one. we finished the default set of cards and bought booster box 2 at maxi toy lab. hobbes greenbelt 1 doesnt accept american express. and that sucked coz they almost have every gameboard that i want.

che and i decided to purchase online, so we can save a lot of money since this is becoming a vice (er... a collection rather).

if u wanna suggest a gameboard (that requires IQ huh, not snakes and ladders coz it fucks the boredom in me), just message me.

xavier, out.

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holiday pics are still uploaded

11 very bad messages.

2:43 pm. just woke up. ate my breakfast/lunch/merienda so i can drink 4 tabs of me med. took a bath, then 4pm, i talked to you-know-who coz the person was suffering from severe depression. (no namedropping peepz. i know you know who im talking about. namnamin nyo na lang yung post). he was complaining coz his family left with their tvs, cd players, and dvd. sofa, stove at ref lang ata ang iniwan. so i decided to offer my discman since i have my compo and my md. hanggang sa umabot sa point na nagtalo kami dahil nabanggit nya lang na bastos ang mga kaibigan ko. and of course, i defended. dahil ang mga kaibigan ko pa nga ang nagtatanggol sa kanya. then the line was cut. sun network limits a call for 15 minutes. at nakatanggap ako ng texts..

-txt ko: "naputol n. magpahinga ka na lang muna. how dare u talk about my friends like that. nagiiba tingin ko sa yo. u take ur rest dahil magulo lang utak mo ngayon."

(1)ako rin naman iba na tingin sa u e. ngaun mu sasbihin yan kung kelan me nsbi k0ng d maganda?Bgla kang babwi mtp0s mung sbhn s kin n kampi cla s u?Galing mu tlg
(2)Ako p ngaun ang gumgawa ng ras0n para mwla k?Mtp0s mamtaymtay sa kakhab0l s u?Gnawa ko n lhat ng kaya ko n it makes u m0r angry at tyms.Difrens ntin?Im patient bec
(3)I apreci8 d gud in u and acept d bad in u.Kaw, u just want me 2b hu u want me 2b dats y u olways get mad bec i always fail u bec im n0t d 1 u want me 2b.
(4)Bec of dat i realys dat u d0nt l0v me. Go find dum1 hu ul realy l0v n d0nt pretend dat u l0v dem bec sumday itl sh0w dat its fake.Kwawang nilalang.
(5)Kung kelan d0wn lalo mung id0d0wn.Wala kang pngkaiba d2. Buti p ibang tao pwd kang takbuhan.I shud hav nvr dpendd my lyf 0n uN0w im payng d price bec of it.
(6)Dpat dko pnaik0t mundo ko s u.Nkalimutan ko n ung ibang taong mhal ko n tlgang mhal ako.I shud have spent m0r tym wid dem.
(7)D kta hahabulin at pgpapasensyahan ng gn2 kung d kta tangap.Tatka lang kung bkit mdlas k ng ganyan.0bvi0usly im n0t mking u hpi anym0r n it breaks me.
(8)Dko ako mgaaksaya ng pg0d at oras para lang mkta o mkausap k.Khit kelan dko inisip n aksaya k ng pnh0n ko.Pero ikaw, sbi mu nga sinasayang ko lang parti oras mu.
(9)Is dis how u trir sum1 u l0v?Tel dem ol d bad tings, dgrade, make dem fil lyk shit?Did i evr do dat 2 u?I did evrytng i cn 2 trit u gud.Sna mkta mu un.
(10)Ng iba kn e.Dk0 alam kung nagbago k o ngsawa o yan ang toto0ng ikaw.D tyo ngaaway dti.Ngaun s khit anu n lang pngaawayan. D mu b maintindihan un?
(11)Para s u un. D ako nangaaway.Ngc0c0nfr0nt ako pr0 i nvr tritd u lyks shit. Iwan nyo nko. I was ok when i was alone. I wil b fyn wen im alone..."

people of the world, the announcement has made. I am an official ASSHOLE. i couldve posted my replies here as well, but itll just look like im defending myself for no reason.

pero ito reply ko..

tangina mo ulul.

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it was our barangay's fiesta yesterday, and i have been drunk for 3 consecutive nights now. not just ordinary drunkness, i mean total blackout drunkness. 3 times. now i am a total wreck. feel like i am in a cold turkey therapy.

pics will be uploaded and i will post it here. for the meantime, i need 5 gallons of tea to wash away the alcohol in my system.

big mac.

the everyday wala lang album

oh. and its password protected as well. enjoy.

lunod.

isang patak ng luha sa bawat isa ng mga paalam na walang hangganan. katauhang binulag ng pag-ibig, nilumpo ng mundo at pinatay ng pag-asa. karamutang ipinagmalaki ng walang dahilan.

sayaw sa bubog.
langoy sa kawalan.
tadyak ng hambog.
lupit ng katangahan.

iniligaw ng landas ang isip ng isang anghel. ginampanan ang buti, sinuklian ng pait. ito ang inihanda sa harap ng lahat. isang malaking kasuwailan sa pananaw ng marami. pero ipinaglaban. sandata ang kasinungalingan. tinikis ang ligaya para sa mandarayang puso. pusong kailanman ay hindi natighaw ang uhaw. pinainom lang ng luha.

putang ina. pag-ibig daw. bulag na pagkatao ang kapalit. inagaw na ng pananarantado ang buhay. aasa ka pa ba ng saya?

holiday photos.

here's the link to the photos last xmas and new year. new year photos hasnt been entirely uploaded. its password protected. just ask me the password and i would text it to ya. para di ma-view ng mga di dapat magview. dont make my picturetrail your photohost. magsshutdown ang account ko. save it to your pc and upload it in your own photo host. oraytee.

stainedshirt's album

oh fuck. i forgot. i already burned (literally, sinunog ko!) my old sun sim. sayang kasi naka 24/7 pa rin sya kahit di ko niloloadan. ummm, the fact na may nakaaway ako at ayokong makipag-usap ever, marami ring tumatawag at nagtetext ng kung anu-ano na di ko naman kakilala. i tried to be friendly pero nauuwi sa mga judgments. kaya mas minabuti kong magpalit na lang ng sun sim. i still have my old globe number at kailanman ay di ko igi-give up yun. so sa mga friendly friends ko jan, just text me on my old globe number and then ill text you my new sun number. ayuz ayuz? at sa mga nakakabwisit na nagtetext sakin. pakyu.

another news.

imago is already making the "akap" video. and the best news of all, kasama kami sa 3rd video. ANSAYA! sana anino yung song. putang ina, ako ang hari ng mga excited.

ako ba to?

fuck. kamukha ko na yung cartoon, kapareho ko pa ng description. sino nagkalat nito at mukhang ako ang tinitira? the earrings, the goatee... fuck.

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abhie, rico, , che and i had dinner at tang city rob. last night, it was kit, , rico and i at dencios. we saw with her sister pa sa popeyes. same stuff. kabag, dahil sa kakatawa.

damn i left my pilot sumwer. cant find it in my pockets. i was about to post sumthin pa naman.

yehey. di pala sakin galit.

my paranoia is getting me nowhere.

btw, im under medication. i have to drink a 5 mg steroidal tablet for my allergies. for straight days. low dose daw. pero wag k, 5 tablets: breakfast, 3 tablets: merienda. thats from january 10-14. 4:2 jan. 15-16 d 2:2 sa january 17. side effect: my heart beats faster, i feel like im gonna have a nosebleed. slow r.e.m., hyperactive, insomnia (ironically, i have to be "unstressed"), and irritable. 1am of january 11 and i made 8 name tags out of circa 1999 lettered beads and gave it to the name owners. tonight, i played silent hill again for 3 straight hours. but its working. its kinda drying and healing. ansaya.

no smoking, no drinking, no canned food, no frozen food, no junk food, no fatty food, bawal mag-isip, no sex, no seafood, no chicken, no staying up late. sana sinabi no life na rin. i have to change my lifestyle drastically. geez. parang ganun kadali ah. if thats i wanna have a faster reaction.

my dermatologist, dra. galvez, is a very pretty doctor, i might say. she looks like aia de leon. i txtd aia right away, at pupuntahan nya just to see her. at para magpaderma na rin. di nya pa raw nat-try ever.

and me, im running out of things to do. para akong adik.

sowee.

sobra sobrang bihira ako magpost ng comment. and meron akong pinostan ng comment, trying to be funny but shit, naoffend ko yung tao. puta, ambobo ko humirit.

in case you bumped into my journal, sorry talaga. big time.

2005's blah #1

35 minutes to get a fucking twister fries. and they call themselves fastfood. parang mga pato sa gulo. isa pa tong pasaway.

setting: 2 open counters and im both next in line.

counter number 1, 2 annoying 21-25 yr old boys and one girl. boy number tries to be comical with the crew using old fastfood jokes like "...isang cheeseburger nga, yung walang cheese ha.. (hahahaha... lingon lingon)". oh god please grimace, bite me in the ass so i would feel, know and see im still in circa 2005. boy number 2 exerts his effort to laugh his best way. the fuckin kid was trying to be charming in his most non-charming way. and hey, have i mentioned i am standing in line next to them for 35 minutes now? hungry and irritated. bad combination. counter no.2 consisted of an ugly gay couple ordering "mcpleri" in their most fashionista way. now that's a topic i wouldnt even dare to touch.

now, it has been 48 minutes waiting for a vacant pc. i am so dying to post. and to check my mails as well. good thing i can just beam this post away and get over with all the pare-todo-na-to ragnarok, worms etc players.

i have the right to complain pls. i am too old for this.

saklay.

binigay ng diyos lahat. ako pala ang tumanggi. nanghingi ng lahat ng patunay hanggang napagod siya.

nandito ako ngayon, pinili ang umiyak kesa ipaglaban ang kahinaan. dahil marunong di akong mapagod. sampung taong tinuruan ang sariling lumaban at magkaroon ng buhay, na natapakan ng mundo, hanggang ang inalagaan kong at pinakain kong yabang ang ngayo'y kumakain na ng aking kabuuan, ng aking katinuan, ng aking katauhan.

hindi kayang magmahal ng tao habang hindi pa natututong mahalin ang sarili. dahil ang mga taong magtuturo sa iyo kung paano ay may mga sariling buhay. na hindi sa lahat ng panahon ay may tiyagang maging nandiyan. lalo nat ikaw mismo ay hindi kayang pagtiyagaan ang maging ikaw. at habambuhay, iaasa mong mahalin ng iba, habang hindi ka pa marunong. at ito pala ang kaya kong patunayan.

para akong pilay na hindi natutong lumakad. dahil sa tinagal ng panahon, nagpaalalay lang ako. idinaan sa awa ang pansin ng mga tutulong. at pag nalaman nilang kaya kong lumakad dahil natatakot lang ako sa dahilang masakit o sadyang walang tiwala sa lahat maging sa sarili, susukuan ka.

tapos na ang kalahati ng aking buhay. at bumalik ako sa simula. simulang mistulang walang kahihinatna kundi ang maging pilay na nanghihingi ng tulong. inutil. sagabal. pabigat.

naputol na ang magkabila kong saklay. at isa lang ang kailangan kong gawin. ang matutong tumayo, maglakad, at mahalin ang sarili ko.

kaboom.

10 pm. our band played at che's house so her dad can see us play. we planned of playing 5 songs but we ended playing more than 10. it was fun though but we have to be home before 12 kung gusto naming umuwi ng buo. then at the strike of midnight, everybody's having their fireworks and me my sparkler. since the chinese said that it scares away the negative vibes, no wonder i always have bad luck. just a bright view with full of obstacles. 1 am and we were ready to have our late new year's eve noise night until...

my retarded uncle had a party of his own. a drunken fist fight then the police scene type. he got arrested. oh wait, "safekept" rather. he had this sickness of dragging his ego all over our streets until somebody steps on it. and of course, he has to make me pick up his shit all over the place. i have to leave the party for a moment and go to the police station just to check if his skull is still intact. and worse, bring him along back to our house. and within those happenings, when i already saw a van and 4 big guys with ugly oversized ashblue uniforms, i had some phone calls and boy, it was one hell of a waste of credits. first call, my other uncle who had the sort of a power over authorities but he's the one who wanted Mr. AA to be beaten up. second call, my mom who just kept on laughing and just wanted me to go on and enjoy the night. like duhr. i instantly became a sympathetic moron and face 3 grumpy, sleepy policemen who had the what-the-hell-am-i-doing-here-during-new-years-eve kind of a mood. and after 45 minutes of the pirated version of my uncle's "general daw ang tatay nya, putangina nya, susuntukin ko sya gago sya (with those air fists as its moves)", mheann, aj and ron just giggled of where egophilia could bring a homeless single 46 year old bald guy. tsk tsk. bad start of a year for him, hilarious for me.

we had our traditional new year lunch at mandaluyong and he didn't come. until i went home noticing that he did not even eat lunch and dinner. parang asong nagpapaawa. pathetic.

so as i was saying, after the AA incident, i went back at the party and got uber drunk. had some vague things inside my head now but i guess its not worth posting. still suffering from a post traumatic hangover though.

basta lesson of the year, wag uminom pag di kaya.

happy new year uli!

first times.

i dunno if i ran out of memorable first times. hmmm.. well the normal first times like the simple ones. not like going to zimbabwe or something like that.

4 hours to go and it like 2004 is history. when i was a kid, going to the beach on summer is an official non-sleep day, since excitement bugs you when you're in bed. cant count sheeps but minutes. and now ive reached my quarter-life crisis, ive ran out of excitements. i didnt even notice that we have to replace our dusty 2004 calendar. everybody had their sound systems set, having a blast with their fireworks, and kids, blowing their horns. its new year alright. and for me, its the normal tonight-waiting-for-tomorrow habit.

but hey. im not denying that i am really really blessed with the people around me but when had told us, "tuso talaga ang year of the monkey, maraming nasisirang relasyon. sa kaibigan, sa magsyota at sa ewan ko pa". so feng shui really works? this was the only year that ive lost two friends, a cousin, an a best friend. not that their dead. i mean ive lost them coz of misunderstandings, miscommunication, and misjudgment. to my best friend wine, since i talked a lot about my anger, i should also be outspoken about me asking for forgiveness and i would wait until i could. to my cousin, well.. she's a bitch and she's the one who should say sorry. kiddin'. but half meant.

countdowns. the pressure given by time. sa umpisa nga raw ng buhay, umpisa rin daw ng untiunting pagkamatay. grabe. sobrang negative. di talaga maganda pag pessimistic ka. hope everyone could be happy this new year. coz i know ill be.

"...life changes, but memories dont.." - wine sta maria

hope nothing changes. but the only constant thing in this world is change. so its like i wished on an exploding mother rocket, na akala ko falling star.

happy new year.

eve.

happy new year.

still waiting for my palm real one. *sigh*

its taking forever.