tanginang mundo ngayon.

i am annoyed for the fact that people nowadays, forget where they stand. the fact that you try to mingle, befriend, people in different brackets, what they do is try to overrule, prove that they're better and forget that they dont know me that well.

i try to be fucking nice, pero mga tsong... this place is filled with plastics, users, bitches and a lot of shit. oh yes, i am just a kitten in a litter box. but as far as i can recall, i am old enough to get out of here. i never knew though, na kahit umalis ako sa karton na yun, puro tae pa rin.

kaya ang putang ina... kulang pa sa lahat ng dapat kong mura. gaya nga ng nakalakhan ko, everything and everyone has karma. maghintay hintay tayong lahat kung ano ang mga darating satin. hinding hindi ako magpapahawa. dahil ayokong mabuhay na daig pa ng inutil, walang silbi, at nagbibigay lang ng sama ng loob sa ibang tao.

tumutulong ako. at ang pinaka reward na lang na makukuha ko ay ang maappreciate ang tulong ko. pero hindi, mas pipiliin nilang hobby ang mangintriga, mainggit at manira. punyeta.

dahil pag ako nagbago, tingnan natin kung sino ang magbabatian pag nagkasalubong pagdating ng araw. hindi man importante ang ngiti at pansin ko, hindi pa rin kayo mamamatay ng malinis.

putang ina ng lahat ng natamaan.

finalized gigsked (as of this day) for the month of june.

here's the updated sked.

June 08 (wed) : Regular gig with Chicosci, spongecola etc @ Mayrics
**June 09 (thu) : with kapatid, etc. @ saguijo, makati
June 10 (fri) : 4pm - In Store Promo, Odyssey Megamall
**June 11 (sat) : V bar, makati
**June 12 (sun) : ASAP, channel 2.
**June 13 (mon) : mayrics with kitchie nadal etc.
**June 15 (wed) : capones with rivermaya (to be confirmed)
June 17 (fri) : 6pm - In-store promo, Tower Alabang
June 17 (fri) : 1030pm - Megastrip B, Ortigas
June 18 (sat) : 5pm - Mall tour, Sm Manila
June 18 (sat) : Fete Dela Musique, EL PUEBLO
June 23 (thu) : 6pm - In store promo, Tower Makati
June 23 (thu) : Rockology, NU107 St. Scho Manila (To be confirmed)
June 24 (fri) : campus gig, UP Diliman
June 25 (sat) : June Jive 2005, Sta. Cruz, Laguna
June 26 (sun) : SM Batangas (To be confirmed)
**June 29 (wed) : Dish (abscbn)
**June 30 (thu) : gasoline alley w/ 6cyclemind

(**) - added gigskeds.

busy busy.

10 am: abhie, ivan and i went to rico's house to have lunch. fiesta kasi dun and at the same time, celebration ng birthday nya. masaya naman.

4pm: diretso na kami sa paragon plaza to watch hale live sa tunog kalye. met some listers like wawa, kimi, nina and mariel. grabe ang lalayo ng mga bahay. batangas, muntinlupa, paranaque at valenzuela. whoooo. stig.

hinatid kami ni champ sa glorietta. may pupuntahan ata syang reception sa manila pen. nag"oversharing" sa sasakyan at ang saya. ang kulit.

galing ng hale huh. still looking forward for the switchfoot cover.

sakit ng ulo ko.

GV2.

i just stayed in my room like a scared turtle. nagonline so naubos ang teletipid 300 bucks ko ng 5 hours lang. saya. 60bucks per hour. para akong nasa universe cafe.

DISCLAIMER: ang mga nakakaalam, manahimik! xp

(insert name here) got my landline number and other number besides my sun. nagreply ako ng.. : "hmm.. gagawa ka na ba ng police report dahil sapalagay mo praning ako?". di naman pala.

kulit pati sa phone. nagiwan ng voice message, tawa ng tawa sa greeting ko. ang mensahe: "(laughs).. soshal. xavier ayus ang... kalokohan mo ah. tawagan mo ako may sasabihin lang ako tungkol sa... tungkol sa (insert reason here)... okei? (hangs up)".

at pagtawag ko, tawa pa rin ng tawa dahil slang daw ako. eh ex-call center agent eh. may napala naman ako sa american accent training ko. hehehehe.

but its one hell of a call. ansaya. never imagined (insert name here) normal syang tao kahit medyo eherm.. sikat sya. nakatambay with his neighbor friends. its so.. me. hehehe.

and aia texted. they have a radio tour later and a Saguijo gig on june 4. combo weekend ito. :)

gv

just woke up. GV talaga ang hatid ng desktop wallpaper ko. nakakainspire mag online. lolz

went to mayrics last night. Gish, Ciudad, Twisted Halo and Hale were there. Ang galing galing ng twisted halo. sobra!!!!!!

Had an allergy attack since kumain ako ng itlog. full blast dahil nung isang araw, apat na cornick lang ang nakain ko kakacomputer. tapos hayun. pero umiinom naman ako ng tubig, abhie. xp

geez champ. can u stop doing the bamboo moves. sabing hindi bagay sa broken sonnet yun e. hee hee. ganito na lang, kuha ka ng bagong song na mejo rock, baba mo gitara mo and there, enjoy.

gud morning everyone. naaadik ata ako sa bagong wallpapers. :)

swallowing saturn.

i built a castle out of water
had a grasp of flowing illusions
ambition of you wanting me
ambition of me loving you.

i wanted to have a dream out of you
but never did reality pricked me this hard
like a needle, until now
like a knife, since then.

i falter on the wings that you once said
and how funny i wanted to fall
i wanted to fly
and yet i wanted to hurt
myself and... myself.

oh how much i wanted to fill
that emptiness in your words
but thats just me,
a hungry daydreamer.

reaching the stars burned my heart
still i wanted you
by my hand and by that
very same canopy you were stuck at

ill just weep
for i dont deserve saturn.
so i should stop
putting its ring on my finger.

eherm.

i am now officially blogging in my very own room. got my pc yesterday. :)

the week was sooo busy. had hale last wednesday, imago, spongecola, barbies cradle, uipodharmadown last friday, then hale and sugarfree last night. i have pics but.. id rather keep it in my pc then upload it. mashado shang maganda. heheheheeh.

umiyak ako twice during sugarfree's set. at hindi ordinaryong iyak. putang ina kasi sa ganda ang mariposa and burnout na acoustic, may 5 piece strings, flute at keyboards. sabayan pa ng boses ni ebe na.. grabe. no words. then after 3 blue hawaiis, naging hyper ako. kasabay ng "hyperbeat" na tumugtog after the gig. putsa. tanong nyo na lang kay ivan kung paano sila naging hyperbeat.

o sha sha. pag tinopak na uli ako, magpopost ako ng magpopost. :)

zzzzz...

madami akong gustong i-share kaso sobrang tinatamad ako. :(

Rt pic.

burns, ivan, abhie, diego, mikeUPLB, me, gene, and tani d.

maylene took this shot. tnx mayl.

May 20. Mayrics. Imago, Barbies Cradle, Sandwich, Sponge Cola and Updharmadown. Kitakitz.

Gigskeds.

HALE.

May 16 (Mon) = rest day
May 17 (Tue) = Radio Tour
May 18 (Wed) = Radio Tour
= Indos Baywalk (8PM)
May 19 (Thrs)= Gweilos Eastwood (9PM)
May 20 (Fri) = JAM 88.3 Music Fest (The Fort)
May 21 (Sat) = Hard Rock Opening Act for Sugarfree (8PM)
May 25 (Wed) = Indos Baywalk (8PM)
May 29 (Sun) = Tunog Kalye Magic 89.9 (4:30 PM)
May 30 (Mon) = Live @ RX Concert Series
Jun 2 (Thrs)= In Store Promo TOWER RECORDS SM North Edsa
Jun 3 (Fri) = Bamboo Album Launch (Mega Strip MegaMall)
Jun 4 (Sat) = Lipa Batangas (To be Confirmed)
Jun 9 (Thrs)= In Store Promo TOWER RECORDS MegaMall
Jun 17 (Fri) = In Store Promo TOWER RECORDS Alabang
Jun 22 (Wed) = Lucena (To Be confirmed)
Jun 23 (Thrs)= In store TOWER RECORDS MAKATI
Jun 25 (Sat) = Sta Cruz Laguna (To be Confirmed)
Jun 26 (Sun) = SM Batangas

HALEstorm.

i am so sorry but i really cant contain myself. *clears throat*

in my life, there was the Eraserheads, the band who changed my music lifestyle. until there came the time "graduation" has to come. i shifted, lost my way until Imago rushed into my system. Music evolved and i had loved a lot of bands like Sugarfree and Sandwich. I indulged for three years until there came Hale.

It was last year that ive heard of the name, but never had i started to feed my curiosity. Until Sugarfree had their gig at Robinsons Place and Hale was their front act. I stood in awe. They were the members who owns "Broken Sonnet", a song in which i thought, a foreign artist interpreted. I looked for their album then i just got it last month only at tower records. (i wonder why oddysey doesnt have it before?) Then the Akap Video of Imago was released with their broken sonnet. Amazed by the art of the in-lay card (since i am the biggest fan of onion skin and 0.1 tech pens), i enjoyed listening to it and looking at it at the very same time.

For the first time, i met their vocalist Champ Lui-Pio at glorietta during the sugarfree slot. I had my cd signed and surprisingly, he just stood beside me and asked for my name. we chatted regarding their band and most of the songs on their album. Then the 2nd meeting at Saguijo, when he was really feeling so bad, he went to our table then told their 70's Bistro performance. And the RT gig, where he called me "oliver" pero bumawi sa mga kwento at sa kakulitan nya sa picture at sa pagkuha nya ng number ko). One of the friendliest "rockstars" ive met.

Now my gig nights would be really packed. :) So girls.. ehem... friend ko si Champ. hehehehehe.

.....

i hurt. i tremble. and this would be the last time i would tell a soul about this. this has been a carousel of bad things, we kept on riding for the sake of false hopes. until we became nauseous. and now were throwing up so bad.

my world fell apart since i was 14. that is how life took my lead. life is beautiful. overwhelming. if pain makes it more challenging, well, i have been challenged until my soul wanted to get away of my sanity.

i have hurt you for many times. what makes it more sad, i do it unintentionally. i wasnt even aware of this needle i kept on pricking onto you. u bled without any arguments. until spews of reality came out. u burst like an overblown balloon. and the only word i can use as defense is silence. because... your truth was that overlooked ignorance i held for so long.

since everything crashed down, you were the only thing im clinging onto. and now, you gently break into pieces. now im falling into this pit of broken dreams, broken promises and broken memories. and how it hurts so bad. and what can i do? just wait in vain.

i wasnt the kind that take things for granted. until you made me realize that i already am. 6 years ago, i hated myself for who i was. you taught me how to love. you made the sky my lucid turquoise canopy. but it turned out so bad. after all, i never thought i just loved myself for the courtesy of you loving me until that day. we both know that we dont love ourselves on such special way like before, and its much painful that i made it like that. now the sky is just an ominous big waste of space. and i am the person i hate.

so stop. coz this guilt that eats my identity makes me more vulnerable to tears. and again, i would want to have the hurt on my skin than under it. i try to stop myself. but thats just me. prone of hurting myself and anyone.

i want this to end right here and now. this has been the biggest leap of acceptance i have made. so no punctuations please. just period.

im tired. so are you. and again, silence is the only word i have.

the Ripe Tomatoes gig.

geez. it was one hell of a party. i was with abhie, ivan, burns, gene and the listers; tani d. maylene, mikeUPLB, and diego. we had the ROCKSTAR pass! like all you want pizza, beer, pancit malabon and iced tea (for me). kasama pa namin LAHAT ng banda (and yep, may pics kami pero di ko na iuupload dahil konti lang). Hale, Imago, Sandwich, Kjwan, Cambio, Sugarfree, Itchyworms, Sponge Cola, Pedicab, Mojofly, Barbies Cradle, Milk N Money, (may nalimutan pa ba ako???). geez. salamat salamat talaga kay maylene. di ko naman expected na pati food eh sagot sa backstage. ANG SAYA!!!!!! natigil lang coz of the rain. di na nakatugtog parokya ni edgar tsaka session road tsaka itchy. sayang.

basta basta. sobra sobrang astig.

the balance.

it has been such a very tiring day yesterday.

4pm - tutor kina kent and kyle.
7pm - rcbc plaza to meet up abhie and rico. na nagkataong nakasalubong namin si kit sa 711.
9pm - saguijo; hale, mayonnaise, food for the critters, etc. maysakit si champ. pagpasok nya sa bar, umupo sya samin tapos kwento agad tungkol dun sa gig nila sa 70s bistro na pumalpak. buti na lang okay yung performance. hirap talagang magka-asthma. ang tataas pa naman ng songs nila. pero shempre.. si champ na yun e. kaya nya yun.
12mn - club halo; its aias bday! nagbotohan din ng officers ng AKI (alpha kappa imago), at sino ang ginawa nilang presidente?... ako. wuhuhu.
2am - BGs pasay road; bday ni mayet. kaso tapos na nung dumating ako. stay lang for a few minutes.
3am - shisha sa malate.

i have some pictures pero di ko pa nauupload. mamayang 12mn, im off to baguio. geez. yan ang summer. sinasagad.

update:
IMAGO.




HALE.

friendster pic.

i had 14 new friend requests coz of this. ang weird. gusto nila si eugene? eh ang akala ko iisiping isip-bata ako. (which is true). sabagay. bata naman mga nagaadd sakin.

epiphany#5

imago "take 2" album launch. october.

ek.

tagal kong di nakapagpost. hm..

thursday: the hale/spongecola/sugarfree event sa glorietta. dapat backstage ako kaso late dumating si karen. pero at least katabi ko si champ the whole sugarfree slot. hehe. at nagusap kami.

friday: in celebration of gabby's birthday, we went to enchanted kingdom. i had my very first dreamcatcher! yey. hanggang ngayon, wala pa rin yata sa lugar ang utak ko dahil sa space shuttle. basang basa pantalon ko paguwi. pero ansaya naman e. may bago tuloy akong friendster pic na di ko pa nauupload.

saturday: went out with tricia.

yun lang. hilo pako kaya ayokong magisip.

the day i learned how to hurt.

monday, 12 mn. we went to the studio for a band rehearsal. we finished an original song and it turned out good. went home at around 4am then we stayed outside for another 2 hours to talk about the songs. and other stuff.

6am, i got really really sleepy then i signed off. they went home and instantly, i fell asleep. 720 am. i was awaken by some loud banging. i stood up opened the door, and it was my uncle. my drunk uncle, who, in the past 2 years of my life, kept harassing me/us and terrorizing our home, in which i just succumbed to. until my mom, my sister left our very own house and just visits eventually.

until that morning. una, ayoko sa lahat ng ginigising ako. pero yung sinisipa nya pa yung pinto ko e mas mukhang ayoko nun. lumabas ako, at tinanong kung bakit. sabi nya, "bat mo sinara ang pinto ko?" ano daw? sinipa nya ang pinto ko para itanong ang isang walang kakwenta kwentang bagay? mainit kasi sa kwarto nya tapos iniiwan nyang bukas yon. at ANONG PAKIALAM KO SA PINTO NG KWARTO NYA? so sabi ko..
"eh? *sabay labas ng kwarto ng nakaboxers* bukas naman ah."
"shempre binuksan ko!"
"o? anong problema mo ngayon?
"WAG MONG ISASARA ANG PINTO KO!"
"hindi ko nga sinasara ang pinto mo! bat ko ba isasara yan???"
"MAINIT NGA KAYA WAG MONG ISASARA!"

*pasok ng kwarto sabay lock uli ng pinto*

at hindi nako makatulog. tinatawagan ko ang mama ko dahil gusto ko na syang ipapulis. dahil ayoko ng mabuhay sa isang mundong may nakikitira at nanghaharass pa. kundi ba naman nagssuffer sya sa ultimate na kakapalan ng mukha. eksakto, dumating nga si mama dahil may kukuning gamit. nagtaka kung bat gising pako. at kung lasing ba si tito. so sinagot ko naman. nagalit si mama nung nalamang sinipa nya na naman ang pinto ko so bumaba sya at tinanong nya sa PINAKAMAAYOS na paraan kung may galit ba sya sakin. bigla ba namang sinigawan ang mama ko! so nagshirt ako at bumaba. pasigaw kong tinanong kung bakit sumisigaw sya.

bigla nya akong sinugod sa hagdan, at ako, napasugod din pababa. sinapak ko. nagulat sya. tumakbo. kumuha ng walis. hinampas ako sa ulo. sinapak ko uli. ni-headlock ko. binuksan ko yung gate. hinagis sa labas ng bahay. tinadyakan, habang ang linya ko.. "ano! tang ina mo, tayo! gago ka ha!" nagtry syang bumangon pero di gumawa. tapos nakita ko na lang ang daming dugo.

ayoko ng idetalye. pero natapos yun nung pinulot ko sya sa labas para dalhin sa ospital para ipatahi yung kilay nya. 6 stitches. pati mama ko sinugod din. dahil muntik ng atakihin sa puso. sobrang bloodshut yung eyes nya tapos di makahinga.

at sa biyernes, pulis na ang kasama nya dala ang mga gamit papuntang airport. dahil kailangan nya ng lumayas kahit durog ang puso ko sa itsura nya. sawa nako.