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It's 225 am and I have to write this down offline coz my phone suddenly lost its display and two, I have no wifi. Now Im not sure when did the ecq start? was it march 15?... anyway, today is the first day of the general community quarantine. and I realized a lot of things during this lockdown. One, I really got to rely on hope coz there were instances that it was driving me nuts coz I was alone in the house. But, I was never alone. I had my friends that I could call or talk to online when I had a phone and data.  Two, I have my sister. There were a few moments that triggered my panic attacks, like getting my meralco bill. I quit my job before the pandemic, Which was a bad move I suppose. Coz I can work at home. Too bad, I got sick before it happened and my flu was horrendous. It was embarassing enough, reason that I would not go to the office 'coz I was chat support and our bay usually is a bay of typing and clicking. No one's really blabbering unless its an idle time. SO I dont wanna be coughing like Im dying. Coz I sounded like that. Dying. So no job, no money. What's depressing is I did not get assistance from government like sss, dswd or dole coz the barangay said, I'm alone and single. How sad is that.

Forgive me, I cant sleep. Thats why im here typing my misery away. Getting so paranoid that there is someone walking up the stairs coz Im hearing the floor creaking.

And I lost a friend. He's one of the people that I can count on actually. Julio. He's usually my go to when things are crazy. His idiotic jokes and stories always crack me up. He's silent but man, that kid. I just cant dwell on that so moving on...

Realizing, that during these times,  the street, the traffic, isnt so bad after all. I think Ive complained too much before that this virus changed everything.