Too Much Information

Does everybody still know how conversations with friends work? have you ever felt youve given too much information that was sensitive to you and never expected a violent reaction? or a judgment? minsan kasi i dont know how it works now.

i just came home so heavy hearted. i dont know feeling ko pagod lang ako, maraming iniisip, kaya kung anu ano rin ang lumalabas sa bibig ko. alam nyo ba yung feeling na may bagay ka nang dapat palang itago kahit paano kasi hindi sa lahat ng oras, nasa iisang linya kayo. i know everybody has their differences pero sometimes, if youre overfamiliar with anyone, nalilimutan na yung boundaries kung hanggang saan lang pwedeng nakakatawa or sobrang nakakasakit.

yung sobrang personal.

siguro id like to somehow defend myself na hindi ako social climber. ive never pretended that im rich. nagkataon lang sigurong may arte ako sa katawan. pero kahit kelan siguro hindi ko inisip na mayaman ako at hindi ako nakikipagkaibigan sa "mahihirap". nagtataka lang ako kung bakit ako macoconnote as a social climber. dahil ba may kakilala akong celebrity? eh hindi ko naman kaibigan ang iba ron. eh kilala ko e. anong magagawa ko magkakilala kami. should i pretend that im sooooo down to earth na dapat hindi ako nagkkwento about them? akala ko masaya pag may insider tsismis? hindi pala.

at kahit hindi ako graduate, i know that i could stand for myself. kaya kong mabuhay without using anyone. mabuti sana kung namumulot ako ng pera. or nanghihingi. eh hindi e. marunong ako dumiskarte. nagkataong marami akong alam. bakit parang dapat maramdaman kong wala akong pinag-aralan? i dont even think im incompetent. i dont even pretend that im smart. coz i really know what i do. so i dont think pointing it out is as personal and hurting as my jokes.

may tinapakan ba ako sa mga kaibigan ko? or ibang tao? may ginamit ba ako? kasi kung meron... pakisabi kung sino. at least kahit paano kaya kong ipagtanggol ang sarili ko.

its too much drama saying these things personally. ayoko kasing magkasamaan ng loob. pero sana naman, as much as i dont judge anyone, and since i call some of my friends the best, magkaroon naman tayo ng kahit konting pigil sa sarili natin, before opening our mouth that could offend anyone.

masaklap pa nito, eto yung mga taong hindi ko inano.

i dont know if i should feel apologetic about something. i dont even know if i deserve those things. pero sana, always think na if ever my other friends judge you in a way na hindi ko gusto, one thing i surely know, i will defend you as much as i can.

im so sorry if ever ive said anything na katumbas ng mga nasabi nyo sakin. or higit pa. pero as much as what i could recall, i really dont deserve it.

you know why i blogged it? because my heart couldnt contain it. i wanted to cry. and for the last time ive asked myself, sa ganitong klase ng sitwasyon, to whose shoulders im gonna cry upon?

lesson learned, i think i should change the way i am.

For Every Child Who Could Read and Understand

lastly, before going to sleep, lets be safe and pray that this
nightmare our country is having could end as soon as possible. we do
not want our holidays to get spoiled over politics.

these times were supposed to be for peace, unity and love. all about
being a family. we just hope that the people who was voted by the
majority of our country gets to realize that they should be leaders
and not 4-yr-old-kids who could just play with tanks and guns.

and hopefully, individually, we could settle our petty differences for
the sake of happiness and love.

sorry ma-drama talaga ako pag may mga ganitong gulo. at tayong mga
kabataan (uy, naki-tayo) ang makakagawa ng malinaw na daan para sa
isa't-isa. life is short, lets not make it shorter.

again, be safe guys. listen to your parents.

Hey Rockstar

hey rockstar
you think youre so cool
with youre blinding flashes of light
and bleary penmanship

you hear the crowd singing
your heartbroken words
with your broken chords
and you think its enough

so where do u get your material?
from other people's woes?
coz its blatantly clear
that youre the one who victimizes
and not the damaged one

so everybody's singing
a lie so good
it made the number one spot
even on static frequencies

hey rockstar
yeah fuck you rockstar
you dont deserve an award
coz you gave another meaning for sellout
you just think sadness has a high demand
the words were not you
the serenity of your voice
is one hell of an irony

and you know what rockstar
not because you think youre cool
not because some people ignorantly shouts your name
jumps on your tune
believes on your lies
turns a blind eye, on your appearance
your alcohol-influenced breath

doesnt mean you can break their hearts.

so fuck you rockstar.
go shove your cd up your ass.

Greys Anatomy s04e09: Crash Into Me Part 1

It is so wrong that i watched this alone. Its the busiest episode ive ever seen in Greys.

Gale Harold's there. Kups pa rin of course. Hes like the Nazi Bryan Kinney lol.

Saved.

Ive always been skeptical about short-termed relationships. or spontaneous ones. i just dont know how it works when you enter a certain relationship and thats where you start your getting-to-know-each-other stage. i thought we had this event in our lives called "dating".

i think theres an age limit to that. sometimes, we get overboard with what the media puts in our healthy brain cells then it starts to whitewash it with drama, skipping the tedious parts.

i dont even consider it as a relationship if its like a week old or a month old then you break up. except for the sweet november story. youre exempted if youre dying.

ive actually thought of living alone when i was 17. of course i had those slumnotes youd love to answer for a colleague then there are those weird redundant question. i guess what i loved the most was this snoopy slumnote (that comes with a pen! genius!) and it had this question "how do you see yourself after 10 years", and i answered, living with my best friends. so probably, when i was 17, i assumed that im going to be single. so i traced back time... when did i entertain the idea of being NOT single?

i guess somebody just came. unexpectedly. and those pleasant surprises were the dramas exaggerated by telenovelas.

i think i got scared. because when that someone came, i instantly had attachment issues. thinking... shet di ko kayang mabuhay ng wala ka. but we all know na kaya e. pero choice mong di sha mawala.

if we are all princes and damsels in distress, does that mean everyone is waiting for our "someone" to save us? and i guess... being single is synonymous to distress. which is weird by the way.

nakakapagtaka lang na nakakapagod raw maghintay. e di wag maghintay. andami kayang pwedeng libangan.

and thats what i learned when i was 23. detachment. and nobody could actually save us from anything else but ourselves.

A Quick Happy Blog.

ok its 350PM and im hurrying up waiting for my yosi to burn. im going to anna's place dahil sabay kami sa MYXMO.

first, i was craving for tocino last night and somebody just gave me one this morning. weird and cosmic, i think brainwaves have benefits.

second, im going with MAMU, DON, AND ANNA. happy shiny people plus add a star for more shine... we're with kyla. kyla is love. so. much. love.

third, we have tickets for the halers so its fun meeting new ones again. antagal ko ng namimiss yung mga halers na first time mong mamemeet. ^_____________^ malabo mang pakinggan yon pero again, nagmamadali ako. no backspacing.

fourth, the spice girls and urbandub cds are waiting for me (alam ko malabo pagsamahin ang dalawang cd na yon sa isang rack pero putangina good vibes plus rock is equal to schizophrenia. and its me.)

fifth, i got a project for december. thank god i was praying for one project that i could put my focus on

sixth, did i mention im going to myxmo? with production ID? and im with annachi, mamubeybeh and donster? plus rae, ryan and JM? more fun. funner.

seventh, i have this dresser na mas matanda pa sakin, seriously... and i finally got rid of it at napalitan na sha ng couch. halatang tamad ang mayari ng kwarto. nakahiga or nakaupo. and its AWESOME. awesome couch. really,,, awesome couch.

eighth, im going to subic tomorrow. confirmed by champoyski. para sa van na rin kami magmemeeting. at may meeting pako kina ivan by tomorrow. so sige lang meet lang ng meet. tadtarin na ng meet meet.

ninth, im on my 6 sticks a day na lang. i started on 11. im gradually quitting smoking and i finally made it. december 1 and the yosi thing is GONE. im going to be fucking hot! move over... um... hot people.

tenth, dont you just love the freaking weather? sunny, ambon ambon at anlamig. im plaiyng christmas songs coz i saw my christmas mp3 collection and all my christmas lights when i was cleaning last night. fuck spirit of christmas nasa akin. this cant be happening.

wow tuluy tuloy. i must be really happy today huh.

Everything is getting SHITTIER every minute... Literally.

so i woke up on a sunday morning, bumping into one link about JENKEM.

And right after the 2girls1cup phenomenon... (warning... I AM NOT KIDDING ABOUT THE WARNING.. if you have a really weak tolerance for GROSSNESS please i beg you do not click ---> THIS.), theres a new narcotic that involves... SHIT. again. (this, is an anagram of shit. how clever.)

Jenkem or jekem is a narcotic recreational drug composed of noxious gas formed from fermented human sewage. Having originally emerged amongst Zambian street children some time before the mid-1990s, Jenkem is according to widely reported anecdotal sources as of November 2007 in the process of attaining a foothold among US teenagers. However, several sources are alleging that these reports are based on a hoax (see section below). The reporting of this in US mainstream media has been marked by a rush of disbelief and distaste for the apparent grossness of the phenomenon.

to my opinion... i think its really SICK. but to some... i have no idea.

wanna try?