Tired and Head Beaten Up Against the Wall.

It has been quite some time that ive been thinking about a certain thing. and thank god i wasnt the only one noticing it. So i was figuring out how to change things by not saying any word.

6am and still doing the Laundry. tsss. So while i was waiting for the machine to stop spinning, i was deleting application invites in my friendster. I just feel so OC seeing those red notifications everytime i click Home. And then i saw this NEW Horoscope thing.

The Bottom Line

Accept what you can't change and stop beating your head against the wall. Move on.

In Detail

Circumstances beyond your control could cause you to feel a little bit of stress today, so you will have to get some perspective. Think about it this way -- if these things are beyond your control, then what can you really do about it, anyway? Accept what you can't change and stop beating your head against the wall. Your attitude towards the day and your attitude towards what happens today will be mismatched -- there is some disappointment in the air.

i really have to listen to the stars.

The Falling Out.

It has been such a blur to me. I mean, the phrase itself. I always believed that once we fall in, we never "fall out". such as tucking out. but now it gets me thinking... what could be the right phrase to use when one day, you suddenly realize, that the person you thought you knew wasnt the same person at all. the feeling after that realization.

some things are meant to change. and i also believed that people, no matter what, dont change. i think its the first impression that deceives us. so we think that the person changes after some time, but, its because were starting to see the real face behind the mask.

can youth actually be a reason? so thats why getting old sucks. because when you reach a certain age, and show such a disgusting trait, its what theyll think you are. absolutely. but when youre young, people could actually rationalize it by considering the age. how young is young anyway.

i think some differences are tolerable. but when ivan started to emphasize that line between us all that gets all blurred up, i get to stand up on my half... and try to point where everyone's boundary is. its how we protect ourselves emotionally. ive had my share of pain. getting too comfortable with new people i meet is my weakness. and i never thought it could have a complication when time comes. it is again why, china built that wall.

i also thought i was a perfectionist. but i never saw myself as someone perfect. i could be the meanest upfront person, but i know ive got a way with it. there could be people to prove it. when i tolerated characteristics that makes me grit my teeth, i get to see that i could be passive. ive never asked for perfection. i thought it was clear right from the very start that all i want, is a person with a bag of sensitivity.

in every falling out, nobody wins. its not a competition to begin with. i thought it hurts when you get left behind. but instead, what hurts the most... is when youre the one who gets to realize it all, and starts leaving. when you get left behind, at least you get to hope, even a little. but when you're the one leaving, its the absence of it that makes you step out of what you have then dwell with the worst feeling you could ever feel.

And almost everyone thinks that 80gb is fun..

ang init. wala na yata akong magagamit na panglarawan o kung anupaman. ang. init.

idagdag pa natin ang timing na pagtaas ng kuryente kasabay ng consumption sa bawat pagbukas ng ref para makakuha ng malamig na tubig o yelo at ng aircon... para mabuhay ka sa ganitong klase ng init. gusto kong magmura pero putangina ang init.

nagpapatawa pa ang maynilad sa paghuhukay dahil hindi raw kami nagbayad. kaya delayed ang paghuhukay ng tubo samin. eh kung sampalin ko sila ng bill na binabayaran ko sa 711. taragis. patunayan mo man, isasagot.. "eh ser... hindi naman po kami ang may hawak ng master list." so nakanino ang master list? wala. walang makakasagot. dahil sa opisina ng maynilad... sabi na forward na raw. anong katarantaduhan ang nangyayari sa mundo.

at kasabay ng init... high blood.

fine. dun naman tayo sa mga bagay na medyo hindi jologs ang angal.

when ipod created 80gb and 160gb memory for the so-called classics... we jump for joy. coz nothing in this world that you can hear couldnt be missed while on the street. if you love bollywood... fine, whatever makes you happy. or... watch your favorite series while inside a steaming hot FX.

so i got ALL my albums (8206 songs to be exact) in my ipod and my 1st and 2nd season of heroes, 3rd season of prison break, 1st season of gossip girl and daria. plus all my favorite movies (if only, 300, empire records, etc)

all those happiness and love and good vibes... could pop like a bubble. when your ipod comes crashing down. without any fucking reason.

last time i checked it... twas fine. i was just playing the guitar along with coldplay and the fray and snow patrol then i paused it, safely removed it (keyword: SAFELY)... and then, there was nothing. i checked my playlists and its all gone.

i restarted it, reconnected it and there's this looooong orange bar, meaning, the memory's occupied but the ipod doesnt read it as music. i searched for answers... visited apple's site and the only way to have it fixed is RESTORE it. in pc words... reformat.

ARE THEY FUCKING KIDDING ME? backup 80gb files in my pc? HAVE THEY GIVEN A SINGLE THOUGHT THAT BACKING UP 80GB FILES WOULD BE A FUCKING WASTE OF SPACE LIKE THE UNIVERSE?

of course i have all my albums burnt in dvds pero kumusta naman yung mga album artwork na inisa isa kong isearch para lang... maayos. tapos ganun lang?

if i die in aneurysm... please blame apple.

♪ Pitong Araw ♫

Hale's newest (and wow... hottest) first single taken from the upcoming third album "Above, Over And Beyond" can be requested at your favorite radio stations. Oh yes ladies and gentlemen... they are definitely back with a lot of energy, and promising new songs.

Here are the numbers you could contact through text messaging... and lets put them back where they belong. number 1 baby!

[*] magic 899 (message) send to: 2968

[*] 4lifesong (message) send to: 2366
[*] max fm (message) send to: 2968
[*] nuvote (message) send to: 29107
[*] loveradio (message) send to: 2299
[*] radio lsfm (message) send to: globe: 2311/ smart:350
[*] energy (message) send to: 2299
[*] pm mellow (message) send to: 2948
[*] rx 931 (message) send to: 29761931
[*] star fm (message) send to: 29765
[*] ifm (message) send to: 2299
[*] hit 995 (message) send to: 2968
[*] yesfm (message) send to: 2299
[*] jam 883 (message) send to: 2968
[*] wave 891 (message) send to: 2968

sabay sabay nating itext ang mga stasyon na yan! walang pilitan :D

---------- ♫ ♪ ♫ ----------

For the people who commented and read my "Goodbye Everyone" blog... that was an April Fools Day post heehee. Wasnt expecting na medyo kakalat sha pero na-touch ako. hanggang ngayon may nagtetext.

Im not going anywhere. andami kong mahal rito e. siguro pag di nako makakain at kailangan kong kumayod ng dolyares. or euro for that matter. :) pero shempre gusto kong sabihin na mahal na mahal ko kayo hehehe. patawad sa joke. sa susunod na taon... buntis ako hahaha.

Goodbye Everyone.

I will be leaving everything by now. Everything came so sudden.

I had a call from my aunt telling me to get my plane ticket to germany by wednesday. I didnt even know what to react but to just get packed and... i dont know... i dont really know what to do anymore.

they got so pissed off when i tried to argue about it. my uncle was furiously shouting "magpakatanda ka nga. puro banda banda na lang inaatupag mo. wala ka nang pinatunguhan." i dont think is till have time to brawl.

i just really think i should go with the flow that life has to offer me. I didnt even know how to say this to my friends personally.

you know who you are. i love you so much guys. and im so sorry. :( ill just make everything short. i love you so much. ill contact you once i get there.


dont you think its too dramatic for april fools? hehehehehe. n_n luv u guys!

The Struggle.

i kept on living my life as it is. Eversince this month started, ive been waiting for that "mercury retrograde" to normalize. theoretically, i placed all of my bets on it just to have a reason why everything is turning out to be... weirdly bad.

its like when we played monopoly last night. 8 players. and im the only one who kept on getting the "give every player 50$" chance card and bouncing back and forth to jail. 6 times before i got the first 200 salary on passing Go. That is one obvious circumstance of what im talking about. and the shallowest of course.

also... i checked on my blood pressure. i havent been eating fatty food and i think because of the heat... i have a 160 over 110 on average. talk about near death experience.

i am emotionally scattered. nakakasawa na ang drama pero i always find an open time for it. instead of just lying down, resting, people get to flick my ears. and i rested my case after brainstorming with myself. trying to find a deeper reason than an astronomical relevance.

codependency.

i really think that there will come a day... nobody will actually care for anyone but himself.

Ken Lee The Performance.

n_______n Good Vibes. LOL