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(DISCLAIMER: this is not a first hand experience. though my mom was rushed to the hospital yesterday, this might feel worse.)

its really sad when depression strikes in the family. before, i thought it was the worst thing that happened to myself. i felt depressed since i was 14. just in a manner of speaking. but when depression is uttered by a licensed psychiatrist, for your mother.. that's where the disturbing part starts.

its so sad when you feel so hopeless of having the reason behind a loved one's depression. frustration might look a bit annoying, but its really what you'll feel. ironically, it'll also make you feel depressed instead of lifting ur hopes up for him/her.

have you seen your mom drop a tear while smiling? freaky right? but when you REALLY get involved with this one, i swear to god it'll break your heart over and over.

i went to the hospital to pay a visit. and when she saw me, heard me asking "ano po nararamdaman nyo" (since she has this dextrose attached to the back of her hand).. she just dropped a tear. and i almost cried. so i tried my best 10 minutes of my day to hold my emotions, and left.

helpless. sobra. parang unsolvable math problem.