the gone.

after my pc gone mad.... i was close of being insane as well. hindi naman ako naging busy. i just watched smallville the whole two weeks. and nalinis ko ang kwarto ko, my closet is now jampacked again with clean clothes, finished devil may cry 3 twice and some issues na very surprising.

tuesday morning... my mother called at around 10am. namatay daw yung childhood friend ko. he was shot three times sa may tindahan nila sa mismong bahay lang nila. according to the investigators... professional killer daw kasi yung bullet na ginamit sa kanya eh yung mahal na sumasabog pa raw. hanggang ngayon wala kaming lead dahil mashadong malihim ang taong yon. i was dumbfounded and suddenly burst into tears. napakatagal ko na atang umiyak para sa mga lumisan. i just hate mournings. iniisip ko, maybe i was just going along with the drama. kaya inubos ko na sa bahay ang pag-iyak. coz everything just flashed. sabay kasi kaming lumaki. our moms are best of friends until nung nagaway sila dahil sa business. and he was the one who made a way para magkausap sila. nung naholdap din ako last 2001, sha rin ang naghanap kung taga saan yung holduppers. hinunting nya pero i just told him na wag ng galawin at baka mapano pa sya. in fact, he's one of the nicest friends ive had, too bad we grew apart. pero sa tuwing magkikita kami... lahat ata ng storya sa buhay ko nakkwento ko. wala akong tinatago. ganun ako kakampante.

grief after somebody who died is always the common mistake i thought. mas maraming problema sa mundo. mabuti nga yung tapos na. pero when i saw him lying there... i cant believe umiyak uli ako. coz again and again... alam kong hindi sha dapat namatay sa ganong paraan. kung iisipin nyong gagawa ng ilegal yun, hindi rin talaga. may prinsipyo ang taong yon. may mga naisip na rin ako kung bat may gumawa sa kanya nun kahit wala shang kaaway. at lahat kaming naging kaibigan nya... iisa lang ang naiisip.

and to break the ice... may sisiw dun sa casket nya. lumang kasabihan para daw mabagabag ang kunsensya ng pumatay. sabi ng isang 25 yr-old-girl.. "bakit po may sisiw? favorite nya ba yun? *sobrang wondering face*", she was asking my friend's mom. sa isip ko... "eh pano ako giraffe yung favorite ko?"

*pause. somebody just called*