Love / Addiction

"...It's shocking how many kinds of addiction exist. It would be too easy if it were just drugs and booze and cigarettes. I think the hardest part of kicking a habit is wanting to kick it. I mean, we get addicted for a reason, right? Often, too often, things that start out as just a normal part of your life at some point cross the line to obsessive, compulsive, out of control. It's the high we're chasing, the high that makes everything else fade away.

the thing about addiction is, it never ends well because eventually whatever it is that was getting us high... stops feeling good, and starts to hurt.

Still, they say you don’t kick the habit until you hit rock bottom, but how do you know when you’re there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes letting it go... hurts even worse."

- Meredith Grey
Greys Anatomy s04e02

Derek and Callie's scenes are heartbreaking. Really awfully heartbreaking. T_T

--- o O o ---

Have you ever had that? Doing things you are fully aware of that could damage you emotionally but still go on with it? Like at first you thought its just a taste or a glimpse of something until you lose all control and do not know what do... but still, you go on with it?

And hating yourself is the best that you could feel. Thinking if youre addicted to pain or something more complicated than pain. Until it reaches to a point where you convince yourself that pleasure is nothing without pain. Not realizing that pain is all youre getting.

It is delusional. When youre high with that something, reality really fades away.