December Blues

Its the month where I used to see Mama, cleaning up the christmas tree so we could have it standing at the corner near the TV set. Its the month where I used to hear my Papa pressure my mom on buying gifts for their inaanaks and for us. Its the month where I used to hear questions from my ex-soon-to-be-life-partner what I wanted for my birthday. Its the month where I used to hear my friend plan a celebration for it. Videoke rentals, alcohol or food. Its the month where I hear christmas songs a lot and sing along with it.

I used to love the rush, the weather and the people who give their best effort to keep the spirit alive.

So I had this question, what happened to christmas? Or what happened to December? Because I know what happened to the people around me.

I dont wanna be a total crybaby about it, because I have really great friends and I have the sometime-sane partner, dont get me wrong my December will still be awesome. Im just not used to the fact of not having the same previous Decembers. I miss them, yeah.

But the most imprortant part about is, appreciating the real reason behind the season. OMG ARE YOU TOTALLY THINKING THAT I AM GOING TO SAY JESUS? No no, although it's by default that he is the reason this season exists. Its his birthday too you know. I am talking about the people who loved us for the whole year, despite of the lapses, the mistakes, and our other evil personality/ies. The people who stood by us, making us see ourselves whole this month. Unscathed, if not, unbroken.

Or maybe im just really getting old. That I already forgot the feeling of having the element of surprise. The first-time jitters. I overanalyze the taste of puto-bumbongs or bibingkas. I overthink of what gift to give. What clothes to wear. And the lingering WTF about the weirdest weather ever.

But I cant deny that, yeah, im having a different christmas this year. The kind where I will be battling myself if I should even greet them merrily.

Well I guess santa could skip giving me a gift this year. Im not in the mood to be nice. :)

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