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untitled #02

black ants gather around my coffee cup
as i stare at those gleaming eyes
with your smile that never lasts
until the break of morning.

i may just listen to you breathe
while you do your thing
and i scratch my shoulder lazily
witnessing beauty happen in front of me

random clicking
endless puffing
this mistake
was the perfect thing
and i never thought
this would bring me to
endless moonlights
and musical streams

tonight
i will be lost forever
and this time
ill breathe beside you much longer

i thought i had it all
until you reminded me
that i can fall in love
more and over
again.

solemn sunday.

i forgot to go to church. geez. so scratch it off my new years resolution. my god it has been so long i could almost forget how to sing ama namin.

i just watched dvd and played games. the whoooolle day, and yes i ate dinner, TWICE! but i skipped lunch and breakfast. so i dunno if it's equal. blech anyways...

just finished chicken little, alexander, laws of attraction, identity then boogeyman got stuck on chapter 10. tangina. cursed is a cursed movie. coz i cursed and cursed while watching it. so dont you even dare.

same as my god of war. hindi ko na talaga sha nalaro. it gets stuck right after kratos gets that architect's son's skull. fuck that animation. yun ang dahilan e.

so now im still beating up BARON of NFSMW. lucky me i always get the pink slip so get to own every enemy's car then sell it since pangit ang mga kotse nila. bwahahahaahaha TAGUMPAY! *holds fist midway to the air and pretends to hold a golden goblet* i stopped when i saw the challenge. it was a DRAG race. one tiny tip to all of my friends who likes video games. INSTRUCTIONS ARE NOT ALWAYS THE ONES YOU ALREADY KNOW. SO READ IT! now i have to search online on how to DRAG race. hahay. A for eyfort.

i cant still finish chicken little. i am such an idiot.

**********



HOORAY FOR BACKSTABBERS!

HOORAY FOR THOSE PEOPLE WHO PRETEND THAT THEY'RE YOUR FRIENDS!

HOORAY COZ I KNOW SOME OF YOU ALREADY!

HOORAY COZ IM NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING COZ ITS SENSELESS.

HOORAY FOR PAIMPORTANTENG PEOPLE!

HOORAY FOR MAAARTENG PEOPLE!

HOORAY COZ BUBULA NA LANG ANG BIBIG NYO SHET KAYO!

RAH RAH RAH!

real-life drama and a gimik night.

..::Friday::..

che and i went to rob place to buy some books and grab something to eat. andaming tao and akala ko may nagpeperform sa may activity area. kasi yung mga tao nasa bandang gitna and they were staring at something sa may bandang itaas. there was a cat that got stuck in a pole. between 3rd floor and 4th.



che and i were wondering kung paano napunta yun don. everybody was nervous seeing the cat having deep breaths plus those really scared eyes. man twas pretty high. nasa 2nd floor nako ng lagay na yun. people screamed everytime the cat moves dahil pihado.. dedo sha oras na bumagsak sha dun. there's this girl who got a ladder para may masampahan ang pusa. but the cat was fighting. baka iniisip nya na itutulak sha and nakakataranta rin naman ang dami ng tao. geez parang 911 live. i was even holding the rails
oh-so-tightly dahil sa kaba. then those bright security guards of robinsons place got a blanket na um... medyo bitin so IF the cat falls, masasalo nila. IF, masasalo nila. parang mantel ng table e. naisip ko shet... masusukat ang galing ng mga to. parang circus lang.



then may ibang good-hearted filipino citizens na tumulong. meron ding girl na kumuha ng isang mabigat na white board na feeling ko e pintuan. everybody was wsshh-wshh-wshh-wshh-ing plus that hand gesture para lang lumapit ang pusa. pero the cat tried to fight kaya grabe nagsigawan na naman yung mga tao. dahil isang leg na lang yung nakakapit at talagang malalaglag na sha.



then white-board-girl caught the cat's behind and ladder-girl pushed it. risky pero sobra na kasi yung suspense. thank god it landed safely. the mall applauded. lol. ansaya.

after malling, mga bandang 10pm na, hinatid ko na si che. al, isang and i played tony hawk then nagtext si che na despedida na pala ng tita nya. 2am na, ang naabutan ko eh SIYAM na gran matador. oh yeah you heard me right. SIYAM. AT humabol lang ako nun ha. feeling ko naka anim na sila. they were like 9 lang. pero geez. lasunan.

mejo nakakailang shot pa lang ako tapos kinausap ko na yung sister ni che. her name is chin. she was my EX bestfriend. we had this great-wall-of-china-ish na gap nung naging sila ni james. since wala si che dahil tulog na, hindi ako makakatanggi sa bawat tagay ko. at lalong hindi ako makakauwi coz almost all of her cousins were there.

james brainwashed chin and mainly sila ang naging reason kung bakit nagkagalit galit ang family namin. since chin knew almost all of my kalokohan.. mejo nasiraan nya ako ng konti coz james' bestfriend likes che. at ang ginagawa nya eh "inilalakad" nya yun sa mom ni che. until nagustuhan sha.

my mom and sister were furious. and to cut the sappy story short, we proved them wrong. pero circumstances.. nagkahiwalay pa rin kami. but at least hindi kami nagkasakitan na gaya ng kay james and chin. physical, mental and emotional. as in kung sa akin nangyayari, i dont think buhay pa ako ngayon. and that night, hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko na pagsabihan si chin that she deserved A LOT better. na wala akong pakialam kung sila man o hinde pero one thing im really sure. I HATE JAMES.

and yes... i was drunk LIKE HELL. mahigit isang taon din bago ko naranasan ang ganung pagkalasing. yung tipong maoospital nako sa hangover.

9am na ko nakauwi. or 7am ata. hindi ko na alam. ang naaalala ko lang eh gumapang ako paakyat ng hagdan.

**********

..::saturday::..

nagising ng 2pm.

or.. nabuhay ng 2pm.

i threw up and EVERYTHING that you could imagine when having a VEEEEEERRRYYY bad hangover. plus the allergy attack ha dahil nakakain ako ng hipon ng di sinasadya.

i was really nervous dahil akala ko hindi na ako matutuloy sa dinner namin ng hale. mamu texted me na sabihan si anna and dea dahil may dinner kami with them. mamu, miss chu, joal, veej, angel and the band members. hale family nga raw. :)

anna and i met sa may starbucks then dumiretso na sa little asia promenade. andaming food. *burp* nagdala pa si omnie ng dinuguan from bicol na sobrang sarap.



, , and


the ever pretty and omz. look at that smile. nakanampootz.


, yashi and ms chu.


the boyz at si dea na nangungulit. lol


dokleng. lol


veejay


champ who was WISTFULLY drinking his water.


roll who was having some deep thoughts.


ang pagdating ni angel.


at nung masaya pa kami ni . coz...

the night turned out to be bad for others. dahil nagkagulo at nawalan ng phone si kimpoy at nadukutan si joal. marami rami rin ang nawalan that night. yan na nga ba ang sinsabi ko e. pag maraming pasaway, tiyak!

then mamu treated us sa grilla after the gig with trish pablo, jojo, yashi and ms chu pa rin. so kami na lang ni anna ang andun kasi umalis na si dea and inasikaso ni joal sa police station ang kanyang wallet. pero unfortunately... hindi nya nakita.

rico texted na gusto nyang gumimik since last day ng kanyang vacation leave. buti na lang andun si and and nagcoffee muna. ayun mejo kwentu kwentuhan at hay ang chismoso ko talaga. lol

then rico and i went to malate para kumain lang dahil AYOKO ng uminom at pakiramdam ko eh madededo ako kaka-alkohol. and i was eating bacon cheeseburger while yawning. he watched Alexander sa dvd and i fell asleep dahil hindi ko na talaga kaya.

supposedly hahabol sa SOP gig pero ngayon lang nagising.

*deep breath* taena ang haba.

dont you wish sometimes that youre blind?

"PRETTY is in the eye of the beholder... BEAUTY is in the soul..."

- rebecca gayheart
nip/tuck

just woke up and had the strangest dream.

i saw myself (having someone else's eyes/body or whatever that is) that i was blind. and i could hear myself say a lot of VERY weird sensible things. i woke up having this feeling... while staring at my bedroom curtain.. that i was missing a lot of things coz i could see. i wanted more of what i have and shit like that. i said (in my dream) that its what i see that makes my life so hard.

reaaaalllyyyy freaky, trust me.

on the other hand, i was DEEPLY disturbed coz... how can i LJ if im blind? oh thats sad.

i dunno if i should be depressed. this is another topic by the way.

i just cant understand why people do a lot of "stupid" stuff while consciously... they know that consequences and complications will be there at that endpoint. its so confusing. shouldnt we have a gameplan when we do "big" things? this is mushy, beware... like love for example. if we CHOOSE to fall... if we say that we are INLOVE, then if we're old enough, we should know OUR exact definition of that big feeling. im a fan of love. everyone knows that. first times are really really enjoyable, exciting, nerve-wrecking and yeah a bit risky.

but if it ends... even though its not as devastating as the REAL thing.. it still hurts.

FUCK MUSH!

i want beef and asparagus, um... shake sashimi and uh... i forgot that salad with crabsticks at teriyaki boy. yum. time to take a bath and go to glorietta.

yan ang ginawa sakin ng panaginip na yan. ginutom lang ako.

nostalgia.

Anna, She and i were talking about it the whole night. bringing back all the memories and geez. hiphop days. lolz

can still recall my equinox and jaloux days. god i cant believe it. well i guess its a phase. until pearl jam and nirvana were there.

but before the teenage angst and the rebel without a cause spirit came over me... here comes 89.1 DMZ, dance music zone. lolz


looking through patient eyes - PM Dawn
oh carolina - shaggy
I wanna be with you - fun factory
saturday night - whigfield
Funk Phenomena - Armand Van Helden
Zoom (Remix) - Fat Larrys Band**
The sign - ace of base
come baby come - K7
dying inside - timmy thomas
short short man - 20 fingers*
mr. personality - 20 fingers*
a girl like you - edwyn collins
informer - snow
always - erasure
lick it - 20 fingers*
selfish - the other two***
dreams - cranberries
extasi extano - chimo bayo
mmmbop - hanson
howgee - blackmachine
stars - simply red
ragga muffin girl - apache indian ****
tease me - chaka demus and pliers
tootsie roll - 69 boyz
sweet soul revue - pizzicato five
feel like dance - globe
do you really want me - robyn


*come to think of it.. i know three singles from 20 fingers. at ngayon ko lang narealize.

** 1993 was the year of remixes as i can recall. foolish heart was also remixed this same year. dmz does that anyway. MYMP of 1993. walang orig. lol

*** akala ko new order. they just had a remix of this song lang pala.

**** i can remember dayanara torres at sa linggo na po sila being philippines' dancing queen and had a top 10 dance song with maneouvres and x-people. hahahahaha

***** if anyone could recall who sang "friends" that were performed by streetboys before.. and kung sino yung nagrevive ng oh carol.. pakipost sa comments page pls. when i searched it.. i tried downloading EIGHT versions of it. neil sedaka, indian disco remix, chacha remix, smokie, paul anka, chuck berry, boppers and jan keizer. lol



so kung meron pa kayong naaalala... please message me and i would appreciate it a lot. :D

Zzzzz

i havent got my rest from the holidays yet. yesterday... i was with , , and at starbucks binondo to meet up. DV shopping yeh! since its my 2nd time around that area... might as well take some good valuable things there.

went to 168 and didnt get anything. i was looking for a ps2 game stall pero wala akong nakita. went to tutuban and i got a hamper for half of its price. red and black spiderman style. :D organizing is a must this year. no more boxers on the floor anymore. yey. oh oh and i saw this king size double deck for just 5thou. man... i was looking for it and there you go. dun lang pala.

ivan bought me a green and blue striped polo shirt. christmas gift. and i love it. thanks friend. :D

then i just went home to steal a 2 hour sleep coz may gimik pa kami. i think nakaalis na si abhie by now papuntang boracay. *sigh* hope everything turns out well for her.

videoke session with khaz, burns, steph, ivan, rico and ronald. FUN kaso bitin. 1 am na kasi ako nakarating eh hanggang 3 lang yun.

first busy day of the year

my last post was dated dec 30 pa ata. havent had time to post that grand yearend EK last friday. actually plano na namin nina she, acoy at anna yun and guess what... andun din pala ang hale. yey! havent uploaded the pics yet. sobrang natatamad pako. i think after ek... wala na akong naging lonetime. daming happenings. pero sobrang aliw talaga. so game.

**********

Enchanted Kingdom, December 30.

I was with , , estee and that day. we got a van for a very good deal then nagkita kita kami sa mcdo P. CAMPA (emphasis on that since sabi ni anna sa morayta raw at dun ako bumaba na nagmistulang koreanong galing airport.) i was wearing a beanie, jacket, shades and carrying a big backpack. mukha akong papuntang baguio at hindi Enchanted.

was so sleepy kasi hindi na sha natulog. lolz. ako ayun nginuya ang binili sa 711 sa byahe pa lang. wala ng ginawa kundi kumain at dumaldal. then after an hour nasa laguna na kami. :D



camwhoring talaga yan e. sobrang natamad na lang ako iupload lahat. anyway nasa multiply ko naman yang mga yan pagdating ng araw. apat lang nasakyan namin. sobrang pangain ng oras ang pila. hindi pa good vibes yung nasa pila ng anchors away.

oh before i forget that very important highlight of the day... i would like to congratulate acoy dahil tao na sha lol... and she for conquering her rollercoasterophobia. hooray! that first ride of the day.. space shuttle.. is indeed an appetizer.

yun lang ang nasakyan namin... space shuttle, then wheel of fate, anchors away and after hale's performance and the fireworks... rapids. kaya umuwi kaming basa. lol

i love the part when we were just walking around talking like maniacs with british accents... looking for something to eat. siguro yun talaga yung pinakagusto kong highlight nung araw na yun. yung magkakasama kaming lima at bonding. kung detail by detail... mahabang entry to trust me.

andami ding halers ang nandun. ansaya.

mariel gave me a bracelet. and i LOVE it. sobra. thanks mariel. :* miss u much. marami rami ring wala. sayang. pero ok lang kasi hindi na rin magkakaasikasuhan yan since andaming tao at nakakastress ang iba.

**********

New Years Eve, December 31:

ginising ako ni trish asking kung san kami magkikita that day. around 1240pm yun. its actually a tradition naming dalawa na magkita every new years eve. lunch or coffee. and this time... its lunch at don henricos with a lot of "steamy" conversation. hahahaha. oo nga tumatanda na kami.

since we're recycling our old resolutions na hindi naman nagamit... ayun kami at nagindulge na sa yosi and food dahil "bukas... iba na ang buhay natin." hahahaha. as if natutuloy. looking back... marami rami rin pala akong "ex-friends".

trish: nandito raw si allan bakla sa pilipinas?
xave: *chokes... grabs iced tea*... tinanggap sha sa airport? wala bang requirement dun na kailangan marunong ka magspell ng basic words?.. o baka naman ibang allan ang nandito. baka si allan bulkan.
trish: ha? e hindi naman kami close nun e. bakit sasabihin ng nanay nun sakin na .. "huy nagkita na ba kayo ni allan?
xave: *chewing.... shrugs* <
trish: nasan na kaya si ivy?
xave: *drops spoon and fork sa plate that made people from other table look* WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM? ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME LOSE MY APPETITE??? *shivers*

so ayun... yan ang mga annual routines namin. ang buhayin ang mga pangalang hindi kailanman dapat ng binabanggit.

we had trish's pics printed pala sa hello kitty shop whatever. basta fuji yun. sa may rob place. and shit. may pics nga pala kami nung bday ko and it almost made me cry.


perfect pic ng fashion club. *sigh*

**********

DECEMBER 31, 9PM MARV'S GARAGE

setting up for our mini gig. mahaba dapat ang post na to pero actually... walang highlight. isa lang shang party na nauwi sa well... common drama. pero tangina. kumpleto kami. and that almost made me cry. thank god teena brought her digicam.

i was running back and forth coz i downloaded songs na alam kong magbabalik ng alaala, sa una... pagiging hiphop namin nung highschool (ahahahahahahaahahahaha), pangalawa... kung sino talaga ang kayang magsayaw sa daan. so showdown ito. ng limang magkakabanda. ahahahahahaa anlabo.

playlist:
informer - snow
always - erasure
lick it - 20 fingers
dreams - cranberries
extasi extano - chimo bayo
mmmbop - hanson
howgee- blackmachine
stars - simply red
ragga muffin girl - apache indian
tease me - chaka demus and pliers
tootsie roll - 69 boyz
sweet soul revue - pizzicato five
feel like dance - globe
do you really want me - robyn

i missed three songs pa nga since naiinip ako kakaintay ng dl. friends, selfish ng new order tsaka the sign ng ace of base.

at shempre... nanalo si al. lolz. taena kabisado nya pa rin yung steps.

lasing ako. hanggang alas nuwebe ng umaga.

**********

January 1, Mandaluyong

woke up at around 2pm. family lunch and get together. i had the whole bottle of red wine and cheese all by myself. nagvideoke ako magisa singing an MYMP videoke cd.

yes im still drunk. until now.


i took this pic sa EK nung fireworks display na using she's cam. :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!