bad day.

is it everybody? or am i entirely the word mistake made in human form?

due to some very very personal reasons, i had a very bad day. i broke down again and i cant help it anymore. my mom and i had a fight again. (wuz new?) she wanted to wake me up coz we have to buy stuff for the renovated bathroom and kitchen. and since i only slept for around 1 hour, i cant just stand and do the hokey pokey like im uber excited. in the first place, i cant go outside the door without taking a bath (since our bathroom's under repair, i have to go to my sisters house.. yadda yadda.. and my mom wont like delays. so in short, i am a sleepless, batheless, morning glorified freak going to deal with chinese tinderos/as so.. it cant happen.) and since (again) she knew the colors and how the things looked like, she can go there and haggle with it herself. but no, she chose another color, (in fairness, white mixes with everything. but the supposed color was blue) and i freaked out to look on a door with a fish-stained glass. ew. i said plain. is it hard to tell it to the chinese peeps. no. she just wanted it her way. just to annoy me i guess. and when i commented with everything i saw, she blamed me and told me im not helping. so i just shut up like a spoiled brat, went to my room, talked to my sister and cried. (thats not just the deal, those were just the things that triggered everything and my sanity, crashing down.)

and i had another thing that ruined my entire day, i called a band practice coz our drummer was around. i texted aia and tim that i cant go tonight coz of that, went typing and stuff for our playlist, then just gene and marv was around. the bassist, i dunno where the hell is he. but i am so pissed off. and since rico quoted claremont about jean grey, "..the person who tries so hard to be strong that she sometimes forget she's human."

im in human mode from now on. lived to hurt. to decide. to defend. and i dont give a fuckin care if i also hurt others. a dog eat dog world? *shrug*