keekay.

did u see the moon at around 5am? damn it was good. with those two big bright stars around it. took a picture of it and i forgot where i put my cam. ill check tom.

im done with meg cabot's boy meets girl two days ago. it was so funny. that's the part where i become gay. when i like girls stuff which by rules, the girls and Only GIRLS like it. like oil-free moisturizers, khaki sling bags, flavored lip balms and colored stud earrings. i dont wanna look dirty by the way. well, if having a girlfriend of 6 years and a 2 yr old kid isnt excuse enough, i might convince myself that i am gay. and i should tell my parents about it. and everyone. maybe i am gay. maybe i am not. who the fuck cares by the way.

ive been playing the guitar for 3 straight days now. and we also bought kitchie nadal's cd. and would you believe, our band had 80 songs in hand. and those are just acoustic songs. neat. i guess we're packed to have auditions by next month.

busy boy.

this pc is so dumb. i lost my 2 posts. can i just say pakshet.

hmm..

like ive said twice, i had dinner with tricia last friday. ron, jonie and dianne followed. then kit and abhie. we were so noisy sa don henricos. pero major saya. too bad i forgot to take pictures. (sobrang taglish daw sabi ni rico)

i spent a lot again. i maxed out my credit card. just bought boy meets girl by meg cabot (kikay) and the god of small things by arundhati roy. im just finished reading deception point and now, im stuck with eleven minutes (coelho).

i kept on looking for brown's digital fortress pero wala pa ring stock. and trust fund boys by whosoever. hay.

ang tagal matapos ng bahay. good thing ryx comes with me to look for the right things.

the dust, the noise, the tv-less days, *sigh* good thing i have my books. kaso dahil sa sun cellular, telebabad lang ako. masakit na ang tenga ko dahil sa headset.

a week's post

got to manage to sneak in and use my gf's net connection. teehee. have been soooo busy the past week. our kitchen and bathroom is still under renovation. already a week now. and its one hell of an inconvenience.

thursday: congratulations imago!!!! they have already launched their 2nd album entitled "take two". freedom bar with all of my prends and they launched it with typecast (played "rainsong") and twisted halo (played "bathala"). weve got a lot of pictures and since im just sneaky here, dont have the time to upload it. i had the pin, the album, the shirt and the poster. geez. got so high after the gig. mean, literally. *wink wink* ive felt every pulse beating, ate 15 pandesal with strawberry jam and butter, barfed, and told somebody over the phone..
anong nararamdaman mo..
para akong nasa loob ng tupperware sa gitna ng grocery. gets?
*click*

the bastard hung up... sheesh.. oh well..

friday: star city with che and her office friends. got the pictures as well and ill try to upload it as well.

saturday: went to glorietta to do some "serious" shopping. 30 blank cds, (odie and garfield oh-so-cute cds), 2 shirts, pillows, and i dunno whatelse. after that, went home and had sabado nights with the tropa.

sunday: went to glorietta again for the winnie the pooh trick or treating with the kids and gabby. fuck those stores without the candies.

monday: nov. 1. all saints day. didnt go to the cemetery since we dont have a dead person here. (is that good?) we just had another serious inuman. like 8 big bottles of beer, long neck of empi (if u dont know what it is... its emperador) and again, 14 bottles of beer. and we're only 5 people. walang tama. syet.

tuesday: went to the dentist. bad day since my head hurts and the house is sooo dusty.

today, gone to sm manila. to buy a new book. :)

happy november.. eh.

epiphany #41

im just plain tired.
with nothing new in my life...
oh, a sponge cola cd.
a big SSDD post-it stuck on my forehead.
with a big letter L on the back of my shirt.
glasses that doesnt hide my swollen eyes.
swollen eyes coz of spongebob.
ugly movie.
bad coffee.
broken keychain.
lost pair of my favorite earring.
a supposed bad movie.
lying advertisers.
misleading slogans.
migraine.
tummyache.

*sigh*

*oversensitivity mode on.
warning: if the eyes go smaller, take two steps backward, or you might lose a turn.

parke sa bahaghari.

tumaas-bumaba ang tubig na hindi inintindi ang dahilan kung bakit. basta alam ko, iba ang lukso ng tuwa sa makikita mo ang sirit. tumakbo, lumundag sa paraisong natatabunan ng usok. naghahanap ng ngingitian, kakawayan, kapalitan ng mga pinulot na batong katumbas ay kayamanang nakukuha sa magkabilang dulo ng mundo. tuturo ka sa buwang nagpapatawa sa likod ng malaking kulapol ng ulap, kalaro ang mga bituing nangingiliti at umiindak. tuyong damong berde pa rin ang kulay, tipaklong sa dampa ng palad, tutubi sa dulo ng sinulid. gulatang nakapagpapasakit ng tyan. sorbetes na mistulang langit sa ibabaw ng apang lumalambot, hawak ng mga malalagkit na kamay. slide, takbo, akyat sa hagdan, slide, takbo, akyat sa hagdan, aray nauntog ang ulo ko, slide, takbo, dapa, bangon, akyat sa hagdan, slide.. alam nyo na ang susunod.

ililipad pa ba ako ng pitong pulang lobo, tapos lulundagin ako ng mga isda habang dumadaan sa dagat?

ang ganda ng dilaw na puno, tapos asul na bulaklak na may paruparong mas malaki sa bahay. pero di ako natatakot kasi mabait siya. lahat ng mga taong patpat, nakangiti. magkakahawak ang kamay. pati araw may mukha, katabi ang mga ibong letter M. iidlip ako sa hapon, para tumangkad, sabi nila. tsaka wala naman talagang multo sa aparador e.

nasa labas ng bahay lahat, at talagang sasampuin mo ang pulang lobo. para lumipad tayo papalayo sa paraisong nilukob ng kamunduhan.

pwede pa bang maging paslit muli?

a boy had a dream.

i woke up with a heavy burden inside my heart. the sun was shiny. the weather was great. but to what was happening around me, i started to ask myself if i was ignorant.

the domino effect. life is nothing but a circular standing domino pieces. if contact equates hurt then the hurt we do to others goes back in a long process, and that's how we tend to not remember it, then the hurt goes back to us. but we keep on hurting each other. in tiny ways. now, people finds it hard to smile anymore. and we do not know how we affect each other's lives. because everybody doesn't care.

we hated this place. this country. this planet. but we never supported it in many ways. on how we pollute our environment. on how we disregard traffic rules. and then we hated traffic. which is also the effect of ignorantly doing things the easy way.

we ask for the real happiness. on how we find bars of gold. our treasure chest. but we disregard the paths, the choices, the decisions we take. because mainly, the focus of the ideal happiness that we consciously know is convenient. we want things easy. and whenever things go scary, we never face it. we run away. unknowingly, the simple joys are the real happiness. the satisfaction of getting the reward after a chaos. as simple as getting a bonus leaf or magic flower after bumping those rocks and those mysterious boxes, jumping fireballs and ducks that looked like turtles. we don't have the princess yet, but we'll get there. after so many stages.

and we don't support each other. because we also try to save only ourselves. because we thought we grew up in a dog eat dog world. but we're not dogs. we're higher beings, who knew it well that if we're sensitive with each other, we will know what will be satisying for everyone. this planet is just one hell of a big basketball team. with just one big basketball ring. we just have to know where our places are, then we'll be having a lot of points. and losing will not exist. the eeny-weeny problem there is eveyrbody loves drama. twists. the bigger problem, addicted to it.

so love, friendship, blahblah, falls into their right places. if we just know that we do not have any intentions of hurting anyone, how could we go wrong. we can get what we want, without stepping into anyone's toes. we just have to wait. for the right time. we should not hurry and at the same time, not take anything for granted. lucky are those who knew when they'll die. because that is when they will ask for quality time to love and befriend the world. but do we really have to wait for that kind of time? i thought everybody wants to be happy.

again. im not preaching. and just slightly, i see god as our life. god is in us. if u know that church song, god is in the hungry, god is in the jail, god is in the little child that wails. if we hurt anyone of us, we hurt god, we hurt ourselves. the domino effect. it leads back to us. pretty good sample is the tithes thing. the bible demanded(take note of THAT term) 10% of what we get and give to god. according to some people who interpreted that. because if we dont give anything to god, (god=church according to some), god will also do the same thing. but isn't god in the hungry, the beggar, the thirsty? why do we have to focus on giving to priests who have cars. who lives well. who eats well. i dont get it. where's god there? i dont treat the bible as a normal paperback, but isnt it subjective of our own interpretation? the tenth part there could be the umpteenth, the nth, a metaphorical symbolism of how to share. for me, god equates life. life needs balance. and i am embracing life. so i am a believer.

i said too much. actually, i still have a lot of thoughts about this place. i dont think we need to be highly intelligent just to observe what's beyond our control. we create our own environment. we do not need to blame anyone for what's happening but ourselves. it's really difficult but starting over, are two big strong words. heard again and again.

i have never dreamed to be a hero. i have never dreamed to be always right. but if i was heard in any way, my little dream could be granted.

to change the world.

pitong minuto at dalawamput syam na segundo

minsan mahirap yatang huminga. dahil na yata sa usok na hindi naman nakabuti kahit kailan. o dahil may mga nakasabit sa leeg ko, nakikinabang, pero hindi marunong mamigay. nakakalito.

minsan ayaw mong magturo. pero mas matalas ba talaga ang pandinig kesa sa paningin? dahil sa dami ng ating pwedeng makita, hindi na rumirehistro ang totoong anyo. at iyon pala, salita lang ang makapabibigay ng totoong o maling kulay dahil mas tinuon ko ang sariling makinig. o mali lang ako magisip. o mali talaga ako. nakakalito.

minsan gusto mo lang humiga. dahil pagod ka na. pero mistulang nakakakapagod ang magpahinga. bubuo ka ng eroplano sa papel, ashtray sa lata, o kaibigan sa plastik. dahil ganun lang yata ang buhay. tayo nga ba ang lumilikha ng mga sariling multo? o binuhay tayong may mga gumagala talagang hindi natin nakikita? na kahit anong bait mo, kahit anong intindi, sarili mo ang huling kalaban. kung ikaw ba ang manghihingi ng paumanhin dahil nag-isip ka ng masama laban sa kanila. o naniwala ka sa narinig. o naniwala ka sa nakita.

o dahil sadyang tanga akong magmahal. nakakalito.