it used to be you.

the day is already starting and my sleepless swollen eyes just kept staring on the cobwebs near the corner of my door and the ceiling. i have been trying so hard to have my life back. i have been trying to just block all the images my head creates. and im so tired of being alone in a lot of things, the least that you could do is let me go. and let me heal my wounds rather than stick your finger up to it, for me to feel that im letting you hurt me because of the mere fact that i still love you.

i know i do. they even know i still do. one thing you should know though, is its too late. too late for my mind to process and ctrl+alt+del things.

we used to watch tv series in my pc. i used to cook food for you. we used to joke around in my bedroom and tickle each other til we cant breathe, i used to just wear my hair without any product on it, i used to crack punchlines that you die of laughing, i used to sneak out my room to have a stick of cigarette, we used to buy junk food while playing songs, you used to watch me play my violin or the guitar, i used to wake up beside you, we used to do things together...

before you pushed me away, i used to love a person so bad, that i basically knew that i cant live without that person...

and that person used to be you.

if you are that broken, if you are that lost, if you are that empty, if you are that frustrated, if you are that sad, if you are that void, if you are that desperate, if you are that in need of me... then why just now? why now where im so ready to face life alone with all my ammunition?

why just now where im used to the fact that were not meant for each other?