babble.

so here i am with all the thoughts flowing like helium in a balloon. trying to escape as fast as it can. images can be really disturbing and make you ponder about a lot of things like life itself. i mean.. just evaluating myself, just that thought.

there were many people who passed by my life and some remaining memories relive all the bad and the good that has been. it leaves me asking.. how am i doing right now? it just figures out that i take things too ordinary and it makes me a person of discontent. still, i am not really amazed of where i am right now. and i feel sorry for the people who really cares about me. coz i feel like im going in circles. i hurt, try to revive myself, enjoy, then hurt again. i mean, whats that all about? oh geez im babbling.

i am so addicted of falling in love. i mean im in love with the fact of being in love. im always in love. and its so weird that i get jaded whenever i feel like feeling it. i am already in love, but still, being in love for the first time is such an experience you wanna try over and over. so you cant be really in love when you try to fall in love again with a new one right? i hope this makes sense.

i am disclaiming that i am falling out. coz theres no such thing as falling out. like tucking in. tucking out is way impossible. i mean imagine a hole and then you fall in.. right? so how can you fall out? cant even imagine. ive heard many people say that. maybe they did not fall in love in the first place. coz as far as ive known.. you can only say you're not in love when it fails. so whens the right time we can say we are in love? its so uncertain. and thats fuckin weird. can we even ask ourselves if we're sure about it if we feel that we ARE in love? i dont think so coz it jades us out during that event.

but on the other hand... why need reasons? why ask for norms? its even the most subjective thing on earth. the only person that could tell us the meaning is ourselves. so why need somebody's opinion about it?

sometimes... we tend to overdo the ask for freedom. we are so free.. and imprisoned by that kind of freedom at the same time. so we think we "fall out" and experience the freedom after then go find another way to tie ourselves once again.

fuck human nature.