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so here i am contemplating under the moonlight and the stars. alone on the top of a building seeing a part of the bay and bright lights of manila, as i was walking past our house awhile ago, all of our neighbors have already displayed their bright lights and lanterns, santas and wreaths, angels and stars. I wore my jacket coz twas really bitter cold outside. Its clear. another christmas is coming. Yet, the only person whou would yell at me to pin those christmas green boa-like leaves higher or more left above our door isnt home. she would be killing me now by not cleaning up my room, not building up the tree and washing that whiter than white christmas curtain.

i always hated doing christmas tasks. there comes looking for valuable but cheaper gifts and fancy wrappers in a battlefield-like mall. trying to squeeze in the budget after spending for a birthday bash then noche buena. helping other people finding whats round and hairy or long and hard, i almost volunteered to be a gift when che cant find something cute and funny for his monito. (dont start to argue!)
dont start calling me the grinch. i may not have that christmas cheering spirit today, but thats my most favorite holiday. i just feel... lazy and kinda sad without my mom around.

i miss you ma. so much. i miss the way you pull up my blanket and start bashing me with it so i could get up my dusty bed. i miss the way you cook and bug me if it tastes good, and when i answer its like i underestimated it. i miss the way you frown whenever i change channels and watch MTV instead. i miss the way you deliver your daily routine of gossips from my ninang. i miss the way you look whenever you see me wear the same pair of pants for a week, then make me wash all of my clothes after going home.

i miss you. please come home this christmas.