Blog Vomit.

for the past couple of days, ive been trying to rant here in my blog. i mean, i was a private blogger before and i only add friends (and what i mean by FRIENDS, is the real people that i co-exist with and not just your normal i-wanna-add-you-coz-i-found-your-blog-blah-blah kind of thing) for the reason that i do not want for strangers to just judge what i write. i mean... why would i call this ranting for heaven's sake. but apparently, when i dont add up people that i do not know personally becomes an insinuation that im an unfriendly person. which is illogical actually. so what the hell, im open to all now.

and now, since everybody even without multiply/lj accounts could read my entries, its an easy target for them to waste their time, trying to criticize or judge people(e.g. me) by reading blogs. apparently, i dont think i put this stuff online for someone's demise or sympathy. i put this up for relevant people. whom i know, are people that i could build friendship with or ive built friendship with already. so they would know, what's inside my mind WHILE AT THE SAME TIME, talk to me in person, see me in person, or chat with me for the longest of time. so my blogs are just like the exact picture of whats going on inside my mind without really blurting it out using my mouth or body language, which is sometimes a happy-go-lucky facade of a pseudo-emo slash troubled-ocassionally person. and that's why they also created it with a small comment button so people with concern could share what they think. convenient, right?

but when people starts to weirdly connote you as "naninira" or something worse, i mean... dont you think its a lot easier to just delete the person in your list rather than bad vibe your day everytime you open your friends' list? i do not want to even defend myself since i dont think ive mentioned or posted word vomits then namedropping a certain person. cause thats way beyond the definition of "paninira". i dont even put clues or post a cheap blind item. so its weird actually.

worse, if i am a REAL friend (that word is so overused, and you know what, once or twice is okay then go mutual. people would know if you really are friends with them so dont state the obvious its so tiring), i do not actually start a fight then cuss him/her online. there's email, YM, text, or better, personal. im not saying that those rules should be followed because theres no rulebook on internet etiquette but come on, imagine your neighbor hearing all the bad things when you're fighting with someone. and of course, ano ang sasabihin natin? "anong pakialam ko sa kanila!!!". wow. that's worse than being palengkera. coz you know, at least sa palengke, expected na nating maingay. and by posting such things in a blog, we should expect people to butt in, eavesdrop, or give unsolicited advices. eh pinost mo e. pero we should know how and when to strike personally. at yon ang point ko to go in private.

the word sorry is inexpensive. we could actually use it freely, but you know how mass production works, pag abundant, nawawalan ng worth. and that 5-letter word is priceless. it could heal wounds, create the bridge that fell down, or build back the bricks that got broken, but... when too much of a word vomit happened, believe me, sorry wont be enough. i could just say na dapat manindigan ang mga taong magsasabi na "this friendship is over". kasi mabigat yan e. hindi yan basta basta binibitawan. pag binawi mo, tapos magsosorry ka, how could you expect for other people to just go on with that relationship kung ganong klase kang tao. magsasalita ka ng masakit tapos ano yung katapat? sorry? feeling mo ganun ka kaspecial? kahit bestfriend ka pa or anything, we should think before we talk. gasgas na yan pero god, it should be practiced every single day. kahit saan. virtual man or sa realidad. and my only point is, get a grip of yourself especially if youre mad, because words could seem harmless, but it isnt.

oh and one thing. i have a question for everybody. if you say that someone is a "motherfucking narcissist" because you feel "underappreciated" by that same person, isnt it narcissistic of you to feel it or even saying the phrase "you do not deserve my friendship"?? especially if the person around you sees that "the narcissist" is the one listening to you when you rant, bringing you home safely when your better half is absent, or talks to you when you feel down, or you bossing him/her around? isnt it so ironic? im just curious. and thats hypothetical by the way.

you're so vain... i bet you think this blog is about you.